Crapping for cash

I presume everyone does this at least one time in their life; but I know I have always made fairly rough estimates of how much I am paid to take a dump whilst at work. The maths is fairly simple. Work out your rate per hour and divide that by the total time on the toilet. Fortunately there’s now a website to make it even easier.

This is good news for me because I don’t trust my estimations. For a start, I don’t wear a watch, so my reading of how long I’ve been gone for can only be roughly guessed by looking at the minute hand of the clock on the wall, which is imprecise at best. And who knows who you’ll bump into on the way! Don’t forget that also counts as time away from your desk when you should be working.

So if you were ever unsure of how best to calculate your own price-per-poo, the use this website. It lets you time the exact length of time you’re away from your desk and calculates how much you’ve just been paid for it. Just make sure you hide it on your desktop or any passers-by will think you’re the fucking biggest loser ever and won’t offer you any cake when it’s their birthday.