‘Damn, I Can’t Wait to Die of Old Age’

As copy editor of VICE.com, it’s my job to read every word that appears on our site and make sure everything is in its right place—that all the commas and semicolons are where they need to be, names and places are spelled correctly, and “fuccboi” is written in the proper style. Over the course of the day, some sentences from our stories catch my eye, usually because they’re good or funny or odd or compelling in some way. Here they are now, presented with zero context, for the week of July 31. To find out why they exist or how they were used, simply click the link for the full story.

– WHY ARE WORDS NUMBERS?

– But who are these people?

– He’s also president of the galaxy.

– There’s no word for “bullshit” in Romanian.

– Damn, I can’t wait to die of old age.

– Lord knows my shoulders have been strengthened over time.

– Can you even fucking imagine?

– That’s a sex thing.

– “Suck my dick, you dirty whore,” he whispered as he pulled my hair.

– Not only was this illegal, but it was also really creepy.

– Do you feel richer yet?

– You’re a cool person (I’m assuming).

– My earliest perception of action movies was my brother running around with a camcorder trying to stab me.

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