This article originally appeared on VICE UK.
I was recently enjoying a casual bus stop Tinder scroll when I received a curious Instagram DM slide, halting my left swipe flow. “Hi, I got your Instagram from your tinder bio. Was wondering if I could possibly be able to give you money for a certain item of your clothing?”
Thanks to Orange Is the New Black season three, in which Piper starts a dirty-panties business, stitches up Ruby Rose, and subsequently becomes a white supremacist, I know of the supposedly hungry market for used underwear floating around the crusty side of the internet. Many people (mostly men) obtain great pleasure from inhaling the musky scent of dirty panties while they masturbate. You've probably heard about the used-underwear vending machines in Japan, and the UK has its own thriving 'soiled-to-order' trade.
News that this underwear fetishism business had now moved, like everything else, to the Instagram DMs, did not come as a shock. But never in my wildest dreams did I believe my Tinder profile could be so enticing as to trigger one such panty huffer to get in touch, offering an open wallet and heart.
Whether or not I took him up on his offer, I’ll leave up to your imagination. All I can say is that living in London is, like, reaaaaally expensive. Also: To be a journalist blessed with a panty sniffer’s Instagram DM and not reply requesting an interview is to look a gift horse in the mouth. So, I sent him some questions. These, ladies and gentlemen, are the yellowing brief fetish FAQs, between me and my generous admirer (let’s call him Woody*.)
VICE: When did you buy your first pair of used underwear?
Woody: If I remember correctly it was back in 2012, when I was 20.
Has this always been a fetish of yours, or was there a moment that really set things off?
When I was young I stole clean pairs from my friends’ sisters, so I had an interest in them going. But it wasn’t until I was in my late teens and early 20s that I really started to get into used underwear.
What do you like most about dirty underwear?
I love the smell and the fantasy of it all, thinking about what she did to them and how she smells. I also like the look of them, how sexy they are and how dirty they look. Even just a photo of a pair I could get off on.
How often do you purchase a new pair?
The last pair I bought was back in November last year. I can’t buy too often as It depends on funds and if the girl I ask is willing to let me buy a pair or multiple pairs.
Assuming you use them for masturbation, does the novelty wear off after you’ve “used” them once?
I use each pair multiple times, but some pairs I take out more then others. It depends on who I would like to smell at the time. I love them all, but I do have favourites. A few years ago I received three pairs from a lovely girl in America and they were amazing. One of those pairs was just different from anything I’ve ever received; I think it was just the smell of her.
My favourites at the moment are two pairs that I received last year from two different girls. One pair is a black thong which had some pee added to the package before sending. The other pair is a nice pink thong which was just worn for two days but was able to get everything I wanted. They had a dirtiness and strong smell, and when I received them they were still fresh. I would take this pair out from all the rest.
What’s the most you’ve ever paid for a pair of dirty knickers?
I think the most I’ve paid is about £550. But to be honest, I would be willing to pay any amount for a very nice dirty pair.
Do you have any preferences in terms of panty style and, er, contents?
When I started I bought any style, but now I go for more of a cheeky cut. I like lacey styles, G-strings and thongs. Contents is what it’s really all about though. I prefer it when they’re worn for a couple of days, or maybe longer if she is comfortable with it, masturbated in once or twice. Also, having a bit of pee added to the panties gives it just that extra scent.
If you had a girlfriend, would you ask for her used underwear? Or is anonymity part of the fantasy?
If I had a girlfriend I’d probably ask her, but every girl has a different smell. So asking a girlfriend for her used panties would be nice but the feeling of getting some from another girl is the thrill.
Do you engage with other forms of sex work, like seeing escorts, cam girls etc? Or do you enjoy the distance of this kind of fetish?
I’ve seen a fetish escort, but there was no sex involved. I received a golden shower from her. I’ve also paid some girls outside the regular sex trade for golden showers. Sometimes the distance is kind of nice, but I like the thought of being able to get more in person.
Do you have any special requests to the girls you buy from?
Recently I’ve asked some girls if not only could I have pee added to their panties, but if I could maybe buy a bottle of their pee too as I have a golden showers fetish. Sometimes I ask if I can possibly buy some pictures of them wearing the panties, or nudes. I have also asked for videos of them masturbating or peeing. Some girls are happy to do them, others aren’t so keen.
When you’re masturbating with the panties, are you thinking about the person who wore them, or the underwear itself?
I think about both. I’ve mainly asked a lot of girls that I know, which I have to say wasn’t the greatest idea I’ve ever had, but knowing who they came from is amazing. I do love thinking about the girl who wore them, especially how she smells.
How do most girls react to the request? Especially the ones you know.
Some are shocked when I ask them, and ask me why. A lot are creeped out by the request and remove me from all contact, and those ones I worry about, as I don’t know if they’ll keep it to themselves or if they’ll tell people what I requested.
What’s the worst reaction you’ve had, and the best?
I’ve been told I’m a pervert, a creep, to fuck off. But sometimes I get surprised when they say they’ll do it. Of course it’s mainly about money, but sometimes it’s because they are willing to try something they have never done before.
Do you feel a lot of stigma around your fetish?
Not really, I like it! I understand that when I ask someone and they say no, it’s their decision. I do sometimes wonder if the girls who have said no have said something, but I just love the feeling and thrill of buying new pairs. I can’t resist.
*OFC his name is not really Woody. Anonymity for panty sniffers, baby!
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