The future is going to suck! Last week we reported that talking on your cell phone causes bees to die, which kills crops, which results in famine. Well, here’s some more not-so-happy-in-the-hereafter news. Apparently the radiation emitted by wireless internet networks kills brain cells, so we’ll all be riddled with brain cancer and senile in our forties. This electronic smog could turn out to be “the cigarette of the 21st century.”

But you needn’t worry about turning into a cretin. In a few years we’ll be living in a Mad Max world, where downloading ringtones won’t seem as important as scoring some nutriment capsules (future food) and gas masks.