• Fs All Around

    If the internet were a person, that person would be unbearable. He—and it would be a he—would, for one thing, be masturbating furiously, constantly. He would give you fake car-insurance rates, and, if you happened to meet him in the last two weeks, he...

  • My VICE Internship Taught Me Everything I Need to Know About Having a Dick

    They are unwieldy and secrete weird stuff at inappropriate times.