3nder Is a New App That Makes Threesomes Easy

It turns out Tinder, Grindr, and Blendr had a virtual threesome and gave birth to a new app-baby named 3nder—an app that makes it easier for you to organize threesomes.

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Mar 13 2014, 1:00pm

Sorry Craigslist and Kijiji, the trolling for threesomes is about to become more convenient. Screencap via 3nder.

It turns out Tinder, Grindr, and Blendr had a virtual threesome and gave birth to a new app-baby named 3nder—which is meant to be awkwardly pronounced as: “threen-der.” What sets 3nder apart from the already crowded pool of dating apps is its focus on threesomes, while being advertised as “couple friendly.” London-based creator, Dimo Trifonov, told me the app started as a social experiment. “My girlfriend and I were curious about threesomes.. So I created a teaser page [for 3nder] to see the reaction of our society. And so many people responded positively.”  It’s no surprise that people are excited about an app that can get them laid by two people at once, but does this kind of push-button ménage-a-trois mean we’ve all turned into lazy, lame lovers? 

Aside from the Angry Birds’ and Candy Crushes of the world, the planet’s most interesting smartphone apps tend to be the ones that allow you to overindulge your horniness. Think back to this past weekend when you were at a bar and there was a lull in conversation. Everyone pulled out their phones and, I bet you, at least one of your friends decided to start flipping through dating profiles—frantically looking around the bar for a potential hook-up who’s less than five metres away. It’s the handiness of these apps that have promised our generation an endless stream of convenient and immediate sex. We’ve even become lazy about selecting what kind of porn to watch, thanks to new librarian-esque porn curation services. 

So when did this generation become so entitled that sex via dating has become a chore? It’s as if we’re on the brink of a new social issue: dating app addiction. We’ve Tindered, Grinded, and Blended; but that buzz is wearing off. So onto the next quick fix that requires less effort, for double the sex! 

Thinking ahead, the risk of STI transmission for hetero and homosexual 3nder users is potentially doubled. Not everyone is careless when it comes to sex, but there isn’t much keeping these users from lying about their health, especially if they use 3nder anonymously. 3nder even offers an option is to use the app “incognito” where you can navigate the app without your profile being noticed by friends, family, or even lovers. Trifonov explained to me that this was one of his initial concerns when creating the app: “I noticed that people on Twitter were really concerned about this and I came to the conclusion that apps and dating sites are giving you the golden opportunity to carefully pick your sexual partners instead of engaging with random drunk people at a bar.” 

The opportunity doesn’t seem so “golden” when you barely have an indication of who your potential sex partner is, and if their intentions align with yours. Beer goggles or not, at least at the bar you have some physical sense of who you’re deciding to go home with. 

Since forever ago, progressive forms of sex and romance have been stigmatized—polyamory, for example, is still far from being socially accepted. 3nder’s mission statement wants to remove society’s sexual opposition: “It's about time to take the next step and make people comfortable about their sexual desires. We need to evolve our social acceptance.” This is where the strength of 3nder lies. Putting people of different genders and sexualities on the same platform to experience sex universally and uniquely. There should be no particular way to practice sex, threesomes included. It’s something that should only be controlled by those carrying out the act. 

As Trifonov told me: “If more and more people use 3nder, the global opinion about sexual desirers will get softer and softer.” As blatantly horny as 3nder is, it does bring western society another step closer to becoming more sexually liberated; which is obviously a good thing. Monogamous sex certainly isn’t for everybody, and its narrow rules of commitment are being challenged by a progressive generation who will bang as they please, through their snazzy mobile devices.

But, dating via technology, when it’s specifically focused on getting laid immediately, feels a little too convenient. 3nder's creator agrees. “I still think it’s sad that we need an app to make something so natural be accepted by the world,” Trifonov said  Unfortunately, that's the type of society we've become; one where dating apps functions as vessels for our sexual liberation, rather than, original thought or action. In a way, these apps may bring all walks of sex-life together in empowerment, but the sense of togetherness is harbored through an app, which is no doubt owned by a company, or individual who means to make a profit in disguise.

A threesome, which in a pre-3nder world was the result of spontaneous curiosity and arousal, is set to become an experience that comes neatly packaged into a mobile app. All you have to do is tap your thumb a few times and voilà, you’ve got sex! But, does this actually liberate us, or is it taking the thrill out of threesomes? 3nder is more like a giant fast-food combo than a dinner you made yourself. Looks good, tastes fine, but you still didn’t make it yourself.


@fabondi

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