A Guide to Unplugging from Social Media for Donald Trump

It’s hard to unplug from social media. Even when you’re on vacation and aren’t required to keep up with the endless stream of breaking news and micro-dramas that play out online each and every day, it’s still tempting to engage. What fresh outrage are you missing when you’re at the beach? Which memes will you be hopelessly behind if you don’t log on?

This, presumably, explains why Donald Trump, currently taking a break from president-ing to vacation in his exotic New Jersey home, is still tweeting his heart out. On Monday, the president tweeted 13 times, covering everything from Democratic senator Richard Blumenthal’s military record to Trump’s favorite topic, “the failing New York Times.” (Some journalists theorized that the president logged on because it was raining in Bedminster on Monday, which meant he couldn’t play golf.)

Donald, we might not agree on anything, but much like you I cannot pull myself away from my Twitter feed, and it’s a problem. I feel alienated from the “real world.” I retreat into Twitter to procrastinate when I’m at work and when I’m off the clock, my social media addiction steals away my time from doing more fruitful activities, like reading a book or writing in my journal. My boyfriend frequently asks me to get off my phone during our quality time together. So I get it.

But even though I have a difficult time logging off, I still have plenty of strategies to help myself disconnect. In light of Trump beginning his Tuesday by musing about North Korea, I humbly offer these simple suggestions for getting offline and living life to the fullest.

Delete the Twitter app from your phone.

The first step to free yourself from social media is deleting the Twitter app off your phone. (And Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat!) Even though you can still technically log into your account, not having the app removes an incredible amount of temptation, and makes it impossible to do that thing where you compulsively click the app button and look at it while you’re talking to someone, which is pretty rude. I sometimes delete the app over the weekend or after I get home from work, and the simple thought of prematurely re-downloading the app or logging in on the browser makes me feel weak—oh, you literally can’t go two days without Twitter, what is wrong with you?

Get off your phone entirely.

If you’re constantly on your phone during your social media hiatus, there’s a much bigger chance you’ll slip up and check your Twitter. This is your vacation time, which means there is no reason you have to be your phone. Put it down. Remember what life was like pre-technology. You were a person before social media and smartphones existed. Get in touch with who you used to be. Go play some tennis.

Free write for 20-plus minutes.

Journaling keeps me sane, and it’s actually a lot like Twitter when you think about it. You get to write down whatever inane thought or annoyance that comes through your mind. The only difference is that in your journal, no one sees your petty musings except for you! It’s a good way to sort out your feelings privately. And hey, if you end up coming up with a brilliant idea you want to share with the world, you can always tweet it later.

Read a book.

Once you get yourself off social media, you might be twiddling your thumbs wondering what to do with your time. Especially with someone like Trump, who works in politics and is on vacation, the last thing you need in your life is read more news, so why not unwind with a book? I’m currently reading Made for Love by Alissa Nutting, which is about a woman trying to escape from her wacky tech billionaire husband. It even includes a human having intercourse with a dolphin. If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, take a gander at the books above. I’m sure you’ll find something that piques your interest.

Talk a long walk and try out a podcast.

Podcasts are all the rage these days, so why not talk a long walk in nature and let the soothing voices of NPR guide your emotional journey? Looking for something more hardcore? Try out the irreverent Chapo Trap House podcast. Hungry for a mystery? Serial and S-Town are both great options. Want to learn more about how women think? I’d recommend Girl Friday (which, full disclosure, I have been a guest on). Curious about the weird underbelly of the internet? Reply All is always a fun listen!

It seems like everyone has their own podcast these days, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find something that holds your attention. Have a good vacation, Mr. President. And if follow my simple advice, you can avoid making unnecessary social media blunders, like retweeting an alleged bot or starting a nuclear war!

Follow Eve Peyser on Twitter. Or don’t. Free yourself from this digital nightmare.