We are truly living in the age of peak "Hold My Beer."
Five months after the United Kingdom voted to leave the European Union, voters in the United States responded with a loud "Hold My Beer" (and a muffled "Make America Great Again"). When Pepsi's unbelievably tone-deaf commercial was met with a near-universal facepalm, United Airlines replied with a figurative "Hold My Beer." And when 25-year-old Harrison Wooten was arrested for DUI, his T-shirt spoke for him. "Hold My Beer and Watch This," it said, which is unfortunate on a number of levels.
According to the Hartford Courant, Wooten was allegedly over the legal limit for booze when he crashed his car into the stone wall of the Putnam Heights Cemetery in Putnam, Connecticut. When officers arrived on the scene, they also learned that his car was unlicensed and unregistered. He was arrested and charged with operating under the influence, misuse of plates, and failure to drive in the proper lane. And, as if that weren't bad enough, when it was time for his mugshot––aw, you get it.
Less than a month ago, Elwood Gutshall III was arrested while wearing a similarly ridiculous shirt. Gutshall opted for a green "Drunk Lives Matter" tee for his mugshot, a 100-percent cotton travesty that managed to celebrate St. Patrick's Day and belittle the efforts of an activist movement in the same breath. You can't find that at Spencer's! (No, wait, you totally can.)
But it seems that even Gutshall was looking to one-up one of his drunk-driving comrades. In April 2016, Joshua Tackett was arrested for DUI while wearing a shirt with two cartoon thumbs that said "This Guy Needs a Beer." And Tackett might as well have 'Hold My Beer'ed Luciano Gutierrez, who was modeling a "Warning: I Do Dumb Things" T-shirt when he was picked up for his ninth DUI. And finally, let's all hold the beverages belonging to 21-year-old Ross McMakin, who earned his own DUI while wearing a bold-lettered "Drunk As SHIT" tee.
Harrison, buddy, when you get out on bail, you might want to chuck that shirt in the recycling bin. And no, we won't hold your beer until then.