Today, for many at least, saw the grand unveiling of the Ipad. One of technology’s most useless of inventions, up their with the trouser press, the alarm-equipped fork and hand dryers. I hate the Ipad, but what I hate more is what the Ipad stands for.

As a species we are pretty gullable and easy to manipulate, when someone tells us something is great we tend to agree, unless of course they’re talking about the Holocaust or child porn . This is what the idea of a trend is all about, one person has something shiny and says it’s great, the person next to them will then want said shiny object and so on so forth, but in the Ipad’s case that one person was Steve Jobs, aka The Antichrist.
You see Stevie is a clever guy, he knows that Apple is more than just a brand or a make, it’s a fashion accessory like the latest Gucci handbag or miniature dog , 90 % of people want Apple products not because they’re necessarily practical, reliable and easy to use but because they’re cool and they look good. The Ipad is the epitome off this insanity, it’s neither an Iphone or a laptop, somewhere in-between the two with neither the advantages of both. You can’t make phone calls, it has no USB port or cd drive (forcing you to buy all your movies and songs on Itunes), it’s all touch screen so prepare for a smudged and dirty screen 24/7, without a keyboard and hinge like a  laptop, means you have to rest it on your lap so that everyone on the tube can spy on you watching some porn, but that’s only if you get the more expensive 3G version. It is the ultimate in shameful fashion accessories and certainly not worth queuing for 6 hours to get your own pad of lies and deceipt.

Some of you may think this is all just jealous rhetoric, but I have a phone that I’ve had for 3 years, works perfectly and is cheap to run, I also have a new netbook that’s small, reliable and I can watch my wireless porn without any hassle, why would I want to combine the two? Yes I sit firmly within the Pc camp when it comes to Mac vs Pc and you may be laughing now that Apple are worth more, but you have to remember that Microsoft still have much higher profits and have yet to enter into the mp3 player and Smartphone buisness but if and when they do, expect to see people dumping their Ipads in the bin.