Getting to know The Garden

These twins are cooler than a cloned version of you.

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28 juli 2014, 2:15pm

Photo: Ashley Calhoun

The Garden is a lo-fi noise band from sunny California. It consists of only two members, Wyatt and Fletcher Shears. They’re twins, and yes, they’re indistinguishable. Even though they make some of the best punk out there, their haute-couture appeal and well-chiseled cheekbones have stood out equally in their coverage so far. Androgynous features aside, we wanted to find out whether they're decent guys as well. Because look and sound aren’t enough to form a killer band; a great personality is a must. We’re looking at you, Bono.

So, we asked the twins everything that crossed our minds. Literally. Because that’s how you make friends: asking them what they would do, if they ruled the world. And how they feel about watching twin porn of course. Oh, and we’re hosting a VICE X WiMP Live Session with them on August 9th in Copenhagen, so read this, come to the show, and pretend you’re all BFFs.

Noisey: Why are you called The Garden?

Wyatt Shears: We continue to grow and evolve as brothers and in music.

Fletcher Shears: Yeah.

What the hell is Vada Vada?

W: This is our genre, our way of life, and our gang/collective.

F: It's our universe that we created. This universe also comes with struggles and fear.

What was the first thing you thought of when waking up this morning?

W: I need to crack my back.

He needs to crack my back.

We need to crack each other's backs.

F: I'm done, it's all over. I'm stopping everything I do.

So, you guys are playing in Denmark in August. Are you familiar with any Danish bands?

W: Isn't Iceage Danish?

F: I've seen a few live, Communions and Iceage.

What else do you know about Denmark?

W: We had a tour manager who was Danish.

F: I've played there once. And from that one night I sure do have a few strange stories. A lot of weird things ended up happening.

What if you ruled the world, what laws would you make?

W: I just hope that I never get put into that position. Way too stressful... way too confusing.

F: I don't think I’d make any more laws. I might try to make some current laws disappear though.

You’re twins. Do people often confound you with, or mistake you for, one another?

W: Yes, it's been happening since pre-school.

F: Yeah, it'll never stop I’m sure.

Don’t say you never fight, because we won’t believe you. Who won the last fight and what happened?

W: True, we don't "never" fight but when we do brawl it's not serious. We are usually laughing if it commences.

F: If it get's physical we end up laughing half way through, or in mid struggle.

Photo: Ashley Calhoun

What’s the best prank you’ve pulled on people on account of looking so alike?

W: This is where we are boring. We haven't pulled many pranks.

But as a twin, you can use it to your advantage.

F: I like using other things to my advantage.

Due to the fact that you walked for Yves Saint Laurent, people often talk about your style and fashion. What’s your view on fashion?

W: I like fashion, I like it a lot.

But the Garden isn't fashion, that's not what we promote in our messages.

F: Yeah, I'm interested in some fashion. It is what it is. It really depends if someone's breaking the mold with it or not. It interests me when designers go against the fashion grain.

Photo: Catwalking/Getty Images

What do you hate the most about Europe?

W: The way your pee smells right when you get there..

The smell gets weird sometimes.

F: The "locals" who try to trick you into giving them money and stuff. They're usually easy to ignore. But recently one guy wouldn't let me ignore him and things got a little sketchy (for him), and then for me directly after. lol

When were the last times you got laid?

W: We live on a small farm, so whenever I want really.

F: All of the animals are really cool with us.

When were the first times?

W: Not a crazy long time ago.

F: Mm.. well... uhh. 5 years ago?

Do you feel weird watching twin porn?

W: When I have, I didn't feel weird at all.

F: Mm, no.

If you were cult leaders, what kind of cult would it be?

W: Hopefully something ghouly.

F: Realistically, we'd be leading all things Vada Vada.

If you could choose five famous people, living or dead, to go on a bender with, who would that be?

W: Crash Bandicoot, Sir Daniel, Sweet Tooth, Yusuke Urameshi, The Frosty Freeze Ice Cream guy.

F: Shishiwackamaru, Sir Daniel, Sesshomaru, Tom Toonami, Mr. Popo.

Photo: Comicvine.com

If your sex lives were pizzas, what kind of toppings would be on them?

W: Hay and slop

F: Oatmeal and Ketchup

I heard you play hockey. Who’s better?

W: Sometimes one is better at certain times. We both play very threatening defence together.

F: Yeah.

Would you rather say goodbye to hockey or music?

W: Unfortunately... hockey.

F: Hockey.

Which weapons would you choose for a street fight?

W: A hockey stick with a sharp at the end. You can easily cut a jug or whack a temple.

Not to mention that long reach.

F: The Cape of No Return (in my fantasy world). But in real life: a samurai sword or a switchblade.

Thanks a lot guys.


Follow Sebastian on Twitter - @sebastiangabe