Barnsley Calling

TEXT & PHOTOS BY JACK ADAMS

Step 1:
The Ingredients

The first thing you need is a plastic wheelie bin. Inside this there should be at least one bag of rubbish, which will give that lung-full of fume you’re about to huck its own distinct flavour. Mmm. The “lucky dip” of general household waste will ensure that no experience is ever the same.   Step 2:
Get Cooking

Use lighter fluid or petrol to get the fire started. Once lit, allow your bin to simmer for 10/15 minutes until a healthy amount of noxious death smoke is pouring out of it.

Step 3:
Get Involved

Lift up the lid, stick your head in as far as you can and inhale as much smoke as you can for as long as possible. Our guy managed it for about 30 seconds at a time before he collapsed on the ground in a fit of coughing. He’d turned into a puddle of human soup.   Step 4:
The Fallout

Our guinea pig reported feelings of nausea and disorientation and had a strange buzzing sound in his head for a couple of minutes. Ten minutes later, he felt a sense of euphoria, but this was down to the relief he felt now he was no longer puking more violently than The Exorcist.