SAO PAULO – NARCO KITTY

If you’ve ever spent time in a really macho part of the world like Latin America or Eastern Europe, you may have noticed this weird effect the machismo has on the local appreciation of the cute. Instead of recoiling from things like, say, a googly-eyed pom-pom dog holding a “I’m Sowwy” placard, the alpha dogs in these areas lap it up like Japanese girls. Hence all the Chicano gangsters you see with Tweety-Bird whatnot and all the Pollack weightlifters walking teensy li’l lapdogs. As a sidenote: What’s up with that? Is it that they’re so confident in their manliness that they can indulge in gay crap without losing face, or does the strain of preserving that intense a level of masculinity result in a proportionately strong blowback? Whatever the specific nature of the principle, thanks to it and the arrest of Colombian druglord Juan Carlos Ramirez Abadia of the Norte del Valle cartel in Brazil last year, the world’s largest collection of Hello Kitty crap has come on the market.

Abadia evidently used his purchases from the Sanrio website and eBay as secret directions to all his lower-downs. Not sure exactly how that worked, but the side effect was a pile-up of thousands of the little mouthless kitties amidst the rest of his riches, all of which was auctioned off today at the Sao Paulo city jockey club. Oh and evidently the auction resulted in a riot. Doesn’t get much cuter than that!