A weekly roundup of anything fashion-related that’s made us excited about having bodies that we can dress with clothes.

OPENING CEREMONY X LONDON

There’s only one it-girl doing the rounds who’s still worth their weight in cocaine and that’s obviously Chloe Sevigny, who also majorly endorses (and often collaborates) with NYC clothing hot-spot Opening Ceremony. I don’t know if you guys got the memo, but London was officially voted as the fashion city of the world this year, and obviously that means we deserve everything cool that NYC invented. Opening in Covent Garden today (!!!) is our very own branch of OC, complete with a guest appearance from the woman herself. They sell really cool shit, so I recommend you go there as soon as possible.

THE FASHION BIBLE

The Church of England threw a fashion show in Manchester yesterday. Jesus himself had a wardrobe of Jil Sander work-wear and JW Anderson tunics and it’s unsurprising that the line between fashion and religion is often blurred. I mean, the two have a lot in common. For example, they both hinge on a lot of old perverts sexually exploiting minors.

“We’re funky in the Church of England now, it’s not like it used to be!” said one confused female reverend model who didn’t realise the extent to which the bible is based on the contemporary trends. Forget John Paul II, it’s all always been about Jean Paul Gaultier. Who’d have guessed that Sunday mass would devolve into C-list celebs snorting lines off Deuteronomy and 500 pound minimum-spend pews. Apart from basically everyone.

RODARTE SELL OUT IN THE WORST WAY EVER

We still can’t fully accept that this isn’t a joke, but as of 10 minutes ago, the Rodarte sisters (who recently dressed Dakota Fanning in a bastardised Star Trek costume) have collaborated with STARBUCKS in order to completely undermine them in the eyes of anybody with eyes. The “collaboration” involves removing the words “STARBUCKS” from the Starbucks logo and replacing them with – someone’s quick aren’t they – RODARTE. Oh poor stupid sell-outs, you will never redeem yourself in the eyes of the fashion elite. Even if you try and spin it as pop-art, you’ve still gone and scrawled your name all over the take-home coffee mugs that provide every wanker in the world with their morning coffee.
 

THE LIKE-A-HUG JACKET

Designed by MIT researchers who have nothing better to do, this jacket fills with air and gives the wearer a cold and empty embrace whenever a “friend” likes something on their Facebook. Basically an example of why technology will make our species more lonely and desperate than ever before, this coat means you lack enough human contact in your life to require constant air hugs from people you probably don’t even know well enough to say “hi” to in real life. Seriously dark times lie ahead.

ICP HAVE MADE THE BEST T-SHIRT EVER

Look what turned up at our office today! A t-shirt with a T-Rex on that says CUNTASAURUS REX, sent from our bezzie m8s over at Insane Championship Wrestling because we made this film about them. They’re probably almost impossible to get your hands on, but rumour has it they’re bringing a truckload down to the party we’re throwing them next Wednesday, so you better be there.

FASHGIF

There’s something wholly uninspiring about looking at pictures of runway shows. As incredible as the clothes might be, they always end up looking more lifeless and stale as Steve McFadden’s career, and that’s not very fashion. What we need is some kind of full-sensory experience to enjoy from our desks, so we can really embrace the vacuous, self-satisfied buzz that normally accompanies a catwalk show. Until then, FASHGIF is our best bet; a new blog trying their hardest to bring images to life, by animating prints on tops, turning models into lemon jugglers or setting dresses on fire.  

Previously – Fashion Tidbits Roundup