The Eurovision Song Contest, or ESC, is the old school, pre-Internet-era version of virtually every [Insert Country] Got Talent – and just like that show, it used to feature lots of grumpy experts, bad soundstage designs and people who can’t sing. But then, two things happened. One, we all got into

guilty pleasures happened and the gay community discovered the ESC.

club kids scene

Conchita Wurst, from Austria,

Switzerland: Mélanie René

She’s francophone, female, and apparently has not only Germanic roots. All those facts alone would be already enough to qualify her as a Federal Council candidate in Switzerland, but unfortunately, Mélanie decided to go for a singing career instead. Her song „My Time to Shine” is just as boring and replaceable as the former thousand ESC songs by Switzerland. Since we cannot see a potential beard growing, the Swiss are temporarily refraining from a big ESC euphoria.

Austria: The Makemakes

Some Austrians say that the national broadcast company, ORF, can’t financially afford to win and host the ESC a second time anyway, and that that’s the reason a rather uncontroversial rock band won the pre election. The optimists say the Makemakes won because they actually know how to play music and Austria wants to represent itself with a modest song at its home game. Then again, some say they won because the lead singer has some visual similarities with with last years contestant Conchita Wurst.

Probably there lays some truth in all of these theories. Anyway, it seems like a lot of people are fascinated by the skinny jeans of the Makemakes. It’s almost like they have never seen men wearing tight pants before. Also Austrian journalists can’t stop mentioning their extrordinary Facial Hair. Seems like regular guys with beards are still a sensation in austria, even in an post Conchita Era.