Only one out of the aforementioned people ended up staying at Hampshire. I think it has the biggest dropout rate of any school in the country or something. My entire first year was spent becoming the fag hag I never got to be in high school, which is something every Jewish girl should go through. Really important life lessons learned there. The remaining three years were devoted to figuring out how to get away with as much shit as possible, how to manipulate and coerce people into doing stuff for me, who to look up to and who not to, who to do drugs with and who not to, watching collegy movies like “Meet the Feebles” and “Sweet Movie,” learning the definition of “authenticity,” finding out what your “issues” are and then “processing” them, and locating the funniest people in the smallest amount of space and befriending them. Another thing to learn is who to sleep with (it’s quite incestuous with only 1700 students) and what base you should get to, but that’s a whole other entry. We had guitar sing-alongs, heroin OD’s, and nervous breakdowns that would make Joan Crawford look like a pussy! College is NOT about saving the drama for Osama. And P.S., I graduated in four years, with flying motherfucking colors.