The Most WTF Songs I Have Ever Heard

CIROC STAR – CHESTER FRENCH, P DIDDY, CLINTON SPARKS, JADAKISS

Wow Ciroc, did you really think this would work?

In case you don’t know (and why would you?), Ciroc is a brand of Vodka. And, according to Wikipedia, they were stupid enough to give P Diddy a 50% share in their company in exchange for his endorsement. FIFTY PERCENT! It’s worth an estimated $100 million! Is it because they’re French? Is he still relevant there or something? And what THE FUCK is happening toward the end of the song where he just starts talking about nothing? I can’t find lyrics online (seriously, it bombed that hard) but does it say “and the cold cuts? where they at? I always wanted to say that on a record”? Incase I misheard or it’s some hip hop reference I don’t get or something, here are some other lines which are fucking INSANE;

-What’s life if I can’t be drunk? What’s life, if I can’t get jipped up?
– If ladies are topless, they showed ID.
– Call me Wall Street P.
– The worlds best premium vodka, gotcha!
– Hey yo, Chester French, bring some of those girls to my room man! We on tour, baby!
– I got a car full of girls in the car

I actually feel kind of bad putting this on here, because it’s giving it publicity. And there’s always a chance that some of you might go out and buy some Ciroc. But please please please PLEASE don’t buy Ciroc vodka. Not even as a joke. I beg you.

Oh, and also, there’s a documentary to accompany this song called ‘Cirocumentary’. Good one guys!

SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME – WICKED WISDOM
I saw an interview with Jada a while ago where she claimed that people were mocking her band because they’re racist. To test this theory, I imagined Katie Holmes (the closest thing I could think of to a white version of Jada Pinket; they’re both actresses who are married to closeted gay Scientologists.) in a Sevendust tee singing nu metal songs about chid abuse. And ya know what? I didn’t find it funny AT ALL. I guess I am racist.

And make sure you watch this video to the end. Letterman’s reaction is priceless.

BIRTHDAY SEX – JEREMIH
I just started typing out the best lyrics from this song, but soon realised I was writing down the ENTIRE song. I can’t believe this is a real thing. I heard this on the radio the other day too, and there were entire sections censored that I didn’t even realise were dirty. Like, there’s a part where he says “first I’m gonna take a dive in to your water deep”, and the whole thing was gone. What does that even mean?!

—–
The first time I heard this song, I was in Cancun, during spring break, on St Patricks Day, in an Irish Bar. Can you imagine how intense it was to hear this song in that environment? The series of involuntary “eugh”s that exited my body were so violent and unexpected, that I thought somebody was performing the Heimlich Maneuver on me.

COLTON FORD – LOSING MY RELIGION
No matter how many times I hear this, it’s still funny to me. Even without the video. I made the mistake of putting it on my iPod,