There are a surprising number of ways to be the most annoying customer in a Starbucks. Like, after waiting behind eight people in line, and having plenty of time to think order what sugar-blasted coffee drink you'd like to consume, how do you not know what your order is? You're in here six times a week!And come on, don't get fussy about the spelling of your name, Katy-with-a-y, because you're the only person who ordered a tall Reserve anyway.
Most importantly, don't have a list of special requests that takes more than two sentences to explain. And if you're the person responsible for this 20-plus step monstrosity, I hope CEO Howard Schultz personally shows up on your doorstep just to kick you in the teeth.
A Reddit user named Nuiofrd posted a picture of this ridiculous order—which continued down two full stickers—and said that his friend who worked at Starbucks just sent it to him. (Possibly before he or she hung up her green apron and stomped out of the store forever).The order started as a Grande Vanilla Bean Creme Frappuccino (in a Venti cup) and then went totally off the fucking rails, with special requests that ranged from a variety of dairy and non-dairy milks, extra caramel drizzle, coconut flakes and Greek yogurt, to bananas, strawberries, protein powder, and a very specific 34-degree serving temperature.No.No, no, NO, no one gets to order this. Several Reddit commenters debated whether it was a real order or not, but, as anyone who has been to or worked in an actual Starbucks can attest, there's a good chance that some customer really was this obnoxious-slash-insane.
"I think for some people being high maintenance is a badge of honour," a former barista named Mrs Anthropy wrote. "Like, they want to show you just how specific they can get because they know themselves (and, I guess, this industry?) so well. It's a luxury to be able to spend that much time deciding how foofy [sic] you want this coffee drink to be."It seems like every few months, someone with too much time and disposable income tries to create the most expensive Starbucks order ever, but historically, even those haven't been this complicated. The current record-holder (at least for now) seems to be William E. Lewis Jr's "Super Venti Flat White," which contained 170 shots of espresso and cost $148.99. (Lewis tried to cash in all of his rewards for the drink, but ended up having to pay around $6 for it).If you're thinking of doing this—either trying to invent a more complicated order or a more expensive one—don't. Just don't.