People Are Using AI to Flirt on Dating Apps—Then Disappointing Their Dates

The Washington Post reports on a delightfully stupid revelation that is only just dawning on some people in the dating scene: people who are using ChatGPT and other AI chatbots to write charming and witty texts that land them some dates are finding that they cannot replicate that same charm and wit in person.

One of the feature article’s central players is a 31-year-old named Richard Wilson. He exchanged long, thoughtful messages with someone who seemed delightful, caring, and thoughtful. And then they met in person, and it was a disaster. The person could not maintain a simple one-on-one in-person conversation to save their life.

Dating apps like Hinge and Tinder are saying that AI can help people who are “too busy, shy, or abrasive to win dates.” Third-party apps like Rizz and Wing AI go even further, crafting messages and coaching the socially maladjusted through the treacherous horrors of small talk and basic flirtation.

But none of that stuff translates into the real world. Dating isn’t a video game where you exchange a few messages, raise a character’s progress bar, and then you’re married with three kids a couple of hours later.

Is Your Dating App Match Using a Chatbot to Flirt With You?

Experts interviewed by the post agree: AI might get your foot in the door. But ultimately, real-life human-to-human authenticity is what matters most. AI creates perfect versions of people that have all the edges smoothed off.

This is either making your horrendous personality falsely palatable or establishing a too-high standard you cannot currently reach in real life. Maybe no one can.

Wilson went on a second date with this person. All it did was confirm that their outsourcing of their personality was too obvious. Not one bit of the person in the texts was there in real life.

AI was doing the talking for them, and they—and probably millions of others doing the same thing—couldn’t back it up.