Have you ever wondered what it’s like to date a specific gender? Not because you’re romantically intrigued or interested in doing so, but rather because you’re curious about the differences in dating certain genders.

For example, many people assume it must be a cake walk to date the opposite gender than the one they’re attracted to. Why? Well, bitterness, resentment, and trauma can undoubtedly play a role.

One person took to Reddit to explore this concept. They asked: “Bi people of Reddit: What do you find to be the difference between dating men and dating women?” Here’s what people had to share.

1. Men Rush, Women Savor

When it comes to intimacy, men tend to be all-in pretty quickly, while women are a bit more cautious.

“Everybody wants to get laid and be loved,” one person pointed out. “Generally, men behave with more urgency about sex, and women start [with] hesitation. Speed and timing are everything. When men are attracted, they feel an almost immediate, acute focus on locking down the sex. Women tend to want to savour those little morsels and give their desire more time to charge.”

2. Flirting Doesn’t Register As Easily With Women

One woman described her experiences flirting with men vs. women: “You can literally walk up to any guy and flirt with them, and they will be so f**king stoked,” she said. “I could hold up [a] giant flashing neon sign saying that I am flirting, and the woman I’m flirting with will just take it as a friendly compliment. Even in a gay bar. Flirting with women is a mystery to me.”

3. Men Seek to Impress, Women Default to Accommodating

This is somehow an incredibly eye-opening yet painfully obvious point.

“On early dates, men will try to impress you, while women will try to accommodate you,” one person wrote. “Men on first dates are often in ‘performance mode.’ I’ve been on dates with men where I feel like a one-person audience at a stand-up show. If he’s funny and charming, this doesn’t have to be a bad time. If he’s not, it’s very painful or boring.”

“There are different problems with dating women,” they continued. “It’s very easy to go on five dates with a woman and have no idea if you’re into her or if she’s into you because you’ve both been so accommodating of the other person, you haven’t revealed enough about who you are and what you want.”

4. Emotional Connections Are Easier With Women, Sex Is Easier With Men

According to some Redditors, dating women often leads to deeper, more effortless emotional connections. However, sometimes, the sex requires more work. 

“Dating women means I never had to worry about emotional connection,” one person wrote. “The sexual connection needed [a] lot of time, though, and it gets frustrating at times.” 

The opposite is said to be true about men.

“Dating men was easier on [the] sexual part, but connecting with men emotionally is way tougher, even though I’m a man myself,” the person continued. “I shared the lead 50-50 here, so that was good.”

5. Men Tend to Communicate Their Interest More Directly

While men often get a bad rep for being poor communicators, it seems they have no issue expressing their interest while dating.

“Hanging out and dating are similar in many aspects, but men usually give more direct signs on what they want, as opposed to women who are diplomatic, playing nice, having expectations (like men approaching them first), etc.,” one person wrote. “It’s very taxing, to be honest, and I would love to date a girl who can clearly communicate things to me.”