Track Names In Electronic Music Can Be Really Strange, So Here's Some Of The Strangest

Eye-rolling track titles were traditionally the realm of black metal, hardcore punk, post-rock, and the like. With the likes of ‘Feeble Screams From Forests Unknown’ and “The Principle Of Evil Made Flesh’ – by Burzum and Cradle of Filth, respectively – and with Frank Zappa dropping bombs like ‘The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny’, who was going to argue?

But electronic music’s track record in the “Oh please…” factor is not to be sniffed at, and its penchant for the overblown is in rude health in 2014. Here’s some real clangers that, for better or worse, prove it.

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Disclaimer: this list doesn’t include any breakcore; those lot would wipe the floor with everyone else. And Deadmau5′ new album did not make it in because, well, Deadmau5.

Joy O – ‘Big Room Tech House DJ Tool – Tip!’

Coming from the artist formerly known as Joy Orbison, this isn’t too surprising. Blessed by the indestructible confidence that arises from surfing never-ending waves of underground success, Peter O’Grady wins full marks here. “BRTHDJTT” manages to be ironically referential, self-ridiculing and arrogant all at once; thumbing its nose at (sacrosanct Berlin vinyl store) Hardwax’s often-backhanded online record reviews.

Honourable mention: Joy O – ‘The Shrew Would Have Cushioned the Blow’

KH (Four Tet) – ‘The Track I’ve Been Playing That People Keep Asking About and That Joy Used in His RA Mix and Daphni Played on Boiler Room’

Soon afterwards, Kieran Hebden decided he could do better. He produced this twenty four-word eyesore; referencing an dance music website, a video podcast service, one of Caribou’s aliases, and Ray Keith’s nephew himself, the aforementioned Joy O. Take that. In contrast to the title, the track is brilliantly minimal. A jumble of African chanting atop a clattering rhythm track.

Honourable mention: Four Tet – ‘Leila Came Round And We Watched A Video’

Omar-S – ‘U Heard What Da Man Said Muthafukka!!’

Omar-S is proud of his music, and doesn’t give a fuck what you think. That much is obvious. His expensive records come stamped with the words “More bang for your buck”, he omitted anyone else’s track names from his Fabric mix, and the dedicated speed racer’s latest album includes also includes cuts like ‘The Shit Baby’, and ‘The Grand Son Of Detroit Techno!’

Honourable mention: Speaking of Detroit house and techno protégées, Kyle Hall – KIXCLAP$CHORD$NHAT$ is worth noting. Grammatically defective, yet supremely descriptive.

DJ Elmoe – ‘Whea Yo Ghost At, Whea Yo Dead Man’

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One of the stand-out tracks from Planet Mu’s game-changing Bangs & Works Vol. 1 compilation – that helped bring the extreme rhythmic sound of Chicago footwork to new audience – DJ Elmoe’s tune drips with disjointed percussion, lullaby samples, and the stuttered refrain of the title.

Honourable mention: The scene’s key player DJ Rashad is as good as anyone at coming up with a catchy title; see ‘IIIIII HIIIIIIII’

Legowelt – ‘Dimensions Of An Ancient Bird Race’

Danny Wolfers describes his musical style as a “hybrid form of slam jack combined with deep Chicago house, romantic ghetto technofunk and EuroHorror Soundtrack”. His website is an unmissable blend of his passion for vintage audio hardware, the sci-fi fantasy world of his imagination, and techno. His Twitter rants are pretty outstanding too.

Honourable mention: Legowelt – ‘The Stars, The Universe, Etc.’

Wanda Group – ‘How To Learn How To Concentrate’

Expressionistic Brighton noise manipulator Louis Johnston has just had arguably the most creatively and critically successful year in his decade of work, under various aliases. Maybe he has Twitter to thank for some of that new renown. He’s known for his stream of bizarre yet profound life-commentary, which glistens with black humour and excruciatingly personal subject matter.

Honourable mention: Wanda Group – ‘Piss Fell Out Like Sunlight’

Shackleton – ‘Man On a String Part 1 and 2’

The ominous smile found in Sam Shackleton’s record titles, and Zeke Clough’s scarred sleeve designs, adds something unique to these eerie, hypnotic concoctions of bass, percussion and pipes. Skull Disco, the label he co-ran with Appleblim before setting up Woe To The Septic Heart!, took the language of dub sound-clashes to extremes, with a series of titles that included ‘Soundboy’s Ashes Get Chopped Out and Snorted‘.

Honourable mention: Shackleton – ‘I Want To Eat You’

The Orb – ‘A Huge Ever Growing Pulsating Brain That Rules from the Centre of the Ultraworld’

Okay. This is way older than the rest, but it surely deserves a mention. “Dr” Alex Paterson created a track that surely deserves the rather grandiose title in this twenty-minute ambient house odyssey. An epic interstellar drift, it requires the listener to navigate an asteroid belt of samples, including prog rock guitar licks and excerpts from Minnie Ripperton’s “Loving You”. It also reached #78 on the UK singles chart.

Honourable mention: The Orb – ‘More Gills Less Fishcakes’

You can follow Gwyn Thomas de Chroustchoff on Twitter here: @DJSpooks