Jim Goad

  • Eat Vegemite?

    Within 24 hours of landing in Australia, I heard the word “multicultural” more times than I’d cumulatively heard it in my entire life. This is hilarious to me, since nineteen out of twenty o’ you melanoma-cases-in-waiting are of bone-white Euro...

  • All Your Heroes Are Dying

    He was many things... a First Amendment warrior, a womanizer, a hipster and a junkie... but the one thing a comedian is supposed to be funny and he wasn't.

  • Methturbation Blues

    Few things in the world are less classy than smoking crystal meth.

  • Hey Kids... It's Time For Some Dumb Myths And Smart Facts About Slavery!

    Slavery exists in so many ways, children. Open your eyes before they shackle your asses.

  • Hot Muslim Twat

    Pornography exists everywhere.

  • Dead Musicians

    It is typical of music fans' immaturity and blind self-absorption that they mourn the deaths of their idols.

  • Shout At The Jersey Devil

    Every place has its creepy legends and ghost stories-it's just that New Jersey has more of them than anywhere else. There are actual destinations in Jersey called Mount Misery and Ghost Lake and Shades of Death Road. Jersey is reputedly home to the...

  • Goodbye Lower East Side, Hello Hills of West Virginny!

    For weeks, the hottest ticket on the Lower East Side has been a très private, VIP-only invitation to a lavish "White Trash Party."

  • Skinheads Against White People

    Blood pours from my nose as I stand on a downtown Portland street corner, arguing with antiracist skinheads about grammar.