Now that he’s 30, it's finally time to say RIP to the former wonderboy's untapped potential, to allow it to find its own quiet peace.
This weekend, during a clash between Everton and Millwall fans, one fan had his face sliced from mouth to ear.
And the newly signed manager Sam Allardyce watched on from the crowd.
While it may seem implausible now, some of the biggest clubs in England once attempted to brand their own tinnies. Accused of encouraging hooliganism and drunkenness, they were forced to back down.
Despite a fairly average goal tally and only one major trophy in six years of service, Dirk Kuyt is a character who resonates with Liverpool fans and, vice versa, seems to appreciate the Scouse way of life.
It's time to say goodbye to one of the most gifted players England has ever produced. Even if he does look a bit shit sometimes.
It's almost as if Alli's play is the on-field equivalent of his clubhouse demeanor.
Go on, you audacious little minx.
Having made his name with Leicester and Everton, the mid eighties saw Gary Lineker snapped up by ‘El Tel’ at Barca. Together, they would stir a slumbering Catalan giant, and restore glory to the club once more.
With the commemoration of the birth of Our Lord coming up, we have decided to get to the bottom of what Christmas is all about – football clubs selling obscene amounts of merch.
In the second instalment of the Premier League Review, we express our limitless sympathy with Marouane Fellaini, sort of.