Volume 11 Issue 1

  • The Terrifying Substances People Put in Cocaine

    A researcher who specializes in the study of narcotics talks about purity, how and why cocaine gets diluted as it goes through the supply chain, and why addicts should worry about snorting dewormer.

  • The Me Men

    What the fuck are longhairs, you ask? Longhairs are a bunch of self-obsessed idiots who passionately grow their hair long and talk about it online.

  • Tokyo Tripping

    The Japanese are so busy freaking out over our shit they almost forgot to come up with any new shit of their own.

  • Vice Fashion - Tanorexics

    The American Cancer Society says that between 1996 and 2003, the use of tanning salons by people under age 25 more than tripled.

  • The Human Ashtray

    In 1955, when my uncle Larry was in the EIGHTH grade, he saw Rebel Without a Cause. From there on out, he was totally obsessed.

  • Beats And Rhymes

    SHIT THAT RULED IN 2003: Paris came back to the game, dope 80s fashion, facial hair (men only), quitting your major-label A&R job to be a broke-ass writer/musician/actor/bartender, Ludacris, cocaine.

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  • Puking Up Bullshit

    The best art to come out of Mexico never actually existed. It was poignant and beautiful and provided heavy social commentary.

  • Can't Stop

    "If it weren't for us Aspies, all you NTs would still be in caves." Aspies are people with Asperger's Syndrome, a mental disorder that allows its victims to concentrate on one thing, exclusively, forever and ever, hence important technological...

  • Games

    Despite the excellent Manhunt being a game where you play a muscled guy in a vest who gropes other muscled guys in vests in alleyways, nobody has actually pointed out that the whole "stealth" genre may be a training tool/masturbation aid for in...

  • Electric Independence

    My part-time-MC/stylist roommate, Miss Matches, has OCD. We like to bring it up at parties and people usually laugh and talk shit, but if these same people were getting five calls a day asking if they left the oven/curling iron/candles on, they wouldn...

  • Electric Independence

    My part-time-MC/stylist roommate, Miss Matches, has OCD. We like to bring it up at parties and people usually laugh and talk shit, but if these same people were getting five calls a day asking if they left the oven/curling iron/candles on, they wouldn...

  • I'm Going to Graceland Too!

    I know you went to school with a guy that was "totally into Bowie," and there's a 40-year-old in your hometown who hasn't outgrown his Church of the Subgenius phase, but that's preschool stuff.