VICE Presents The People’s Lists – Part 1

The New Book of Lists Trichonympha Trichonympha Eunice Cimex Oribatei

For many turtles, the courting period is marked by a ceremony in which the two stand facing each other, slowly nodding their heads up and down and from side to side for hours at a time. Eventually, the male takes the initiative and places the female’s head in his mouth. Later, he sucks on her feet one at a time. The position for copulation varies among species of turtle. Some males mount the female and steady themselves by biting her back, while others have to rear up to an almost vertical position before penetration is possible.

Octopuses mate facing each other, but their sex organs never touch. The male ejaculates onto one of his tentacles and then uses the tentacle to introduce the sperm into the female’s reproductive organ.



California sea lions are voyeurs; they are stimulated by the sight of other sea lions performing sex. Oftentimes, this is the only form of sexual gratification for the younger males since the older ones jealously guard their harems. During the mating season, which lasts two months, the older males are expected to satisfy the sexual needs of their harem. Copulation may last an hour or longer as the pair float just below the surface of the water. Once one affair is completed, the male must hurry ashore to begin again with a new female.

Among beavers, the female initiates sexual intercourse. When she has found a suitable mate, she signals her intentions by secreting a yellowish oily substance called castoreum from a gland located between her anus and genitals. The male follows suit, and as long as he shows her the proper respect—she may have to box his ears from time to time—they will probably remain together for the rest of their lives. At mating time, the female emits a scent that stimulates the male. They glide into the water and, face to face, copulate as they swim slowly forward.



Male giraffes use their skin-covered horns only for fighting with a rival over a female. For their part, the females seem lackadaisical about sex. When prodded by a male, a female will urinate so that he may test the urine to see if she is in her estrus (ovulating). Oftentimes a female will simply walk away during copulation, sending the unwary male plummeting to the ground.

Rhinoceroses use their brute force to test the strength of each other before mating. For hours on end, they charge one another, their 2,000 pounds or more attaining speeds of up to 35 mph. Once the female is certain she has a worthy mate, she will instigate copulation. The male mounts her from the back and penetrates her with his two-foot-long penis. They continue to have sex for about an hour and a half, with the male sometimes ejaculating every 10 minutes.



Despite their size, elephants are among the most gentle lovers in the animal kingdom. Every three to six months, both males and females experience a period of musth, during which they seek out a mate. Musth is an emotional state brought on by the temporal gland, located just beneath the skin midway between the ear and the eye. The gland becomes swollen and secretes a dark, strong-smelling substance that stains the lower part of the face. Once an elephant has found a suitable mate, the two will begin to flirt. The male offers the female food or squirts water over her back as she looks on nonchalantly. Finally, usually after a month, the female gives in and the male mounts her from the rear, gradually rising to an almost vertical position as he achieves full penetration. Afterward, the pair entwine trunks and swish their tails.