This article originally appeared on Broadly US.
As a professional astrologer, when I see my craft fall into the hands of business people who want to juice the fuck out of this currently very trendy cosmic fruit, I get sad. Picking your lovers based on their sun sign? Please don’t. I actually agree with the astrology naysayers here: Everyone is different, including people with the same sun sign.
Pop astrology would have you believe that you are only compatible with signs that share your element: fire, earth, air, or water. This is untrue. When looking at a birth chart, seeing planets in signs with the same element shows that the energy is harmonious or easy; however, people are not planets—and easy doesn’t always mean good! We all have entire birth charts which inform our compatibility much more than our sun signs do. And besides—it’s the hard work that people put into relationships that make them work as partners, not sun sign compatibility.
A person who is a sign you “hate” can end up being a better partner for you than some totally self-unaware person that happens to be a sign that you usually get along with or a sign that you have heard to be your most compatible match.
Also, what does compatible even mean? I don’t know about you, but I want passion in my relationships, which means there must be some tension. I want a partner who isn’t just like me, but someone whose differences excite me, and often, it’s the people whose sun signs and birth charts have the most challenging aspects to mine that I find most attractive.
That said, there are some fun things you can do with a potential match's sun sign, if you have access to your birth chart, as you will need to know the time and location of your birth to try these ideas out. I recommend creating an account at Astro.com and entering your birth data to see your birth chart.
Go on dates with people whose sun sign is the sign the moon was in when you were born
The moon symbolizes our sense of safety and comfort, and basically tells us what feels like home. For many of us, intimate relationships need to feel secure and safe (even if it’s just a fuck buddy), and dating someone whose sun sign is the same as your moon sign is a great experiment to try. Of course, both of your full birth charts matter, too; however, if you’re a novice astrologer, starting small with just this one “compatible” aspect between planets is a great place to begin experimenting with your love life and astrology. (Technically, this is called a sun/moon conjunction in synastry— or, in plain English, the sun and moon are at the same or close degrees in the natal charts of the two people).
Go on dates with people whose sun sign falls in the fifth house in your birth chart
The sun is basically a massive spotlight on our charts, and whatever house (or, sector of the zodiac) the sun falls in is illuminated. Having someone’s sun illuminate your fifth house is fabulous—the fifth house is the house that rules celebration, creativity, sex, and even children. Basically, everything we love, or that makes us feel joy, or that makes us feel alive and creative lands in this house.
Go on dates with people whose sun sign falls in the seventh house in your birth chart
The seventh house rules relationships of all kinds, and when someone has planets, like the sun, in our seventh house they easily take on the role of “partner” in our lives. The seventh house is the house of marriage, and indeed, as an astrologer, I do love to see planets (not only the sun! Remember, there are more planets!) in one person’s chart land in the seventh house of an other’s. Be warned: The seventh house rules marriage, but it also rules open enemies! Compatibility is tricky because even when you have planets in the house of marriage, an adversarial relationship can still be born. It’s all about the people, not the planets!
Luckily, my book, The Astrology of Love and Sex, comes out this fall (Chronicle Books), which will answer all your sun sign compatibility quandaries. Until then, please date, fuck, elope, or have a situationship with any sign you like—it’s the person, not the sun sign, who makes the relationship special.