Stop Calling Me a Monster Because I Bite My String Cheese
Doing away with the ridiculous ceremony of separating individual cheese fibers opens up a world of possibilities.
Actually, Tiny Overpriced Grocery Stores Are Perfect for Indecisive People
I look at the exorbitant prices as my penance for the inability to make a decision in bigger stores.
Actually, NY-Style Deli Sandwiches Are Too Goddamn Huge
I'm gonna fill you in on a sandwich hack that will change your life (and the way you eat pastrami).
Actually, Slicing Bagels Like Bread Is Good
As a St. Louis native, I urge you to think twice before jumping on the hate train.
Dear Restaurants: This Chair Sucks
This uncomfortable and not particularly attractive chair has become a disease.
Actually, Onion Rings Are Carnival Food, Not an Everyday Side Dish
Onion rings should be a fringe gag like deep-fried Oreos, not just a desperate alternative to French fries.
Actually, Drinking Iced Coffee in Winter Is Normal and Good
I know it's cold outside, which is exactly why I keep drinking iced coffee.
Actually, Pizza Toppings Are Bad
Pizza should not be an edible plate upon which to showcase an entirely different dish.
Red Delicious Apples Can Rot In Hell
They've finally been dethroned as the nation's top-selling apple, because they're trash.