WORDS AND PHOTOS BY JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE

Gay-to-straight bedroom conversion. The 50 Cent poster helped familiarize Jamie with male nudity in a nonsexual context.

Jamie’s gay iPod (top) and straight iPod (bottom). REGAINING MY MASCULINITY Crisis in Masculinity Jamie looking at gay porn (left) and straight porn (right). AVERSION THERAPY Jamie discovered Christian indie rock was actually worse than the new music on his straight iPod. RELIGION ABSTINENCE

Celebrity Apprentice

Touch therapy worked about as well as treating alcoholism with beer bongs. REPARATIVE THERAPY OVERALL EFFECTIVENESS