When was the last time a girl sat down next to you and said, "I like it when your dick bulges out of your tight jeans?" Oh, never?
Sex and drugs and bacon rolls.
Because these days dance music is the only music left.
All that happy jazz can really bum you out.
You guessed it. It's Roskilde.
A bundle of practical insights for whom it may concern.
Our one-point list for all you fickle Denmark-based lushes.
It's everybody's favourite time of the year again.
After the Kitty Pryde/Danny Brown incident earlier this week, the world needs a guide on how to have fun at a show without being a dick.
Because you don't work for success, it's a birth born rite.
It starts with a Tumblr account...
It even tells you what to say if Romney wins.