Neither does tweeting about the latest trendy social movement.
Drone pilots probably already know what children look like.
The greatest threat to security here are the rebels no one wants to talk about, M23.
Lindsey Stirling is here to save a continent with only God, a violin and a shitload of corporate cash to help her.
Binging on mob justice in Central London.
Will Invisible Children go highbrow, or will they wank sadly into the camera while screaming about the devil?
A footballer may have died in public this weekend, but you were too hungover to notice.
Jason Russell was probably masturbating while we were attempting to interview him.
This goes out to all you women out there.
And does seeking out Invisible Children's faults make me a cynical snob?