
Advertisement

Jason: Well, I’ve always had issues with my foreskin. You don’t realize you have issues when you are growing up, because you don’t know about other dudes' penises, just your own. So you think everything is pretty much standard, but then when you grow up and go through adolescence, you start meeting other people and girls get involved and it becomes a bit different.So what exactly was your problem?
Basically my foreskin is too tight. It’s like my dick is wearing a belt when I’m fully erect, near the top. It’s like it’s wearing a corset. I was talking to my best friend Laurence about this once when we were younger and he had exactly the same problem, so he got a "Cirque du Soleil"— which is what I call it.Your name for circumcision is the name of a French circus?
Yes. Laurence got it about two years ago and says it's improved his performance ten-fold, which is not much of an improvement for Laurence, but whatever. So I’m going to go and get it done too.So is it purely for sexual improvement?
Well it’s for hygienic reasons, too. I’ve been speaking to a few girls about it and it’s a preferred look. A more professional look.
Advertisement
I had a previous operation a few years ago to help. They cut the sides and fold it and then sewed it back, and that kind of worked for a bit, it made my sex life a lot better. But I still have a little waste, so I kind of want to get that sorted. It’s kind of freaky.Are you nervous or worried?
I’m not, but the more people ask me if I’m nervous, the more I think I should be. I know it’s going to suck, I’ve had a similar operation before, but I know this is going to really suck for three weeks. Whatever, I’m man enough to deal with it.

Jason: Mom, it’s a medical journal. What are you on about?
Jason’s Mom: It’s not a friggin’ medical journal, it’s The Voice.
Jason: Haha, yes, Mom, the Jamaican newspaper. "Wapp’m, cease wid dis foolishness."It’s VICE, not The Voice.
Jason: Mom I’m getting documented. You know I love science. I’m committing myself to the cause. Do not stand in the way of my dreams.
Jason’s Mom: Don’t take pictures of him, I don’t want that. Not while I’m here, I’ll get very upset.
Jason: Oh whatever, it’s getting done, I’m not some page-three model. This is for science.
Jason’s Mom: But why would you want to do that?
Jason: Laurence told me I had a problem when I was 21. I should have known I had a problem before then. There are other people out there with this sort of problem and it needs to be broadcasted.
Advertisement
Advertisement
Didn’t feel a thing for most of that. Was asleep for most all of it.And now?
Can’t even feel it. It is like I’ve got no penis.

It’s not a fucking sports car. I’m not excited to try it out. I don’t even want to see the bloody thing. I’m going to faint as soon as the bandages come off, I know that much. Last time they made me stand up and blood went all down my leg and I fainted instantly. So I’m just waiting for Monday, because that is going to be the worst day—when I have to wash it and dab it with saltwater. That’s not going to be fun.Are you not worried about waking up with morning wood?
I spoke to the doctor about that and he said it’s actually quite good if it doesn’t heal in a flaccid state.I got Jason to pop into the VICE offices a couple of weeks later so we could catch up and monitor his progress.

Pretty good, considering.I was supposed to see you a few days ago, the doctor told you to take the bandage off but you decided to leave it on a bit longer. Any reason for that?
I don’t remember the doctor saying that.You don’t remember much.
I was tripping fucking balls. Smacked off my face. Whatever they put me on was awesome. Anyway, I washed it last night, the bandages were supposed to come off but I had to leave them on.
Advertisement
Because they were stuck to my body via a massive scab on the underside of my bellend where I have just been cut and resewn.How has the pain been since the snip?
No pain, really. It’s more uncomfortable.Well that is good news for those about to go through the same procedure.
Yeah, I'm more worried about it getting infected than the pain. I gave it a saltwash earlier and it didn’t burn too much, so it’s OK.What about morning wood?
I had a semi today and it wasn’t so bad, to be honest.But you haven't been at full-mast?
No, but it’s hard to stop myself thinking about dirty stuff because it's been almost two weeks now since I’ve done anything remotely dirty. So it’s getting on. I can feel the tide rising. I might fold soon. I’m not looking forward to it to be honest, I will co-codamol myself up before I go to bed so even if I do get a boner, I won’t feel a fucking thing.Well thanks Jason, you have been a great sport about the whole thing. I am sure there are thousands of men out there who will thank you for your sacrifice.So, I guess the moral of the story is being circumcised is OK, and there are numerous health benefits to it. But fuck having to go six weeks without a hard on.Follow Omar on Twitter: @OzKaterjiThirsty for more NSFW? Sip on these:Indifferent Cats in PornHow to Suck Your Own DickShot by Kern - Harrisburg