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In a nondescript recording studio in Burbank, we waited for OJ to show up for the first day of production. A weird hush came over the crew as OJ arrived with his handlers while loudly talking on a cell phone. The first thing I noticed: He has a really large head in terms of cranial capacity. A shady entourage surrounded him. Rumors flew that Warren G, OJ's bodyguard, had just got out of jail, and that his driver didn't have a driver's license.
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There was soon trouble in straight-to-DVD, hidden-camera prank paradise as the Juiced honeymoon immediately turned rocky. "OJ just doesn't give a shit," ranted the producer on the mere second day of production. "OJ shows up late, OJ doesn't want to wear wardrobe, OJ refuses to do things. What the hell is the matter with OJ?!"OJ was nowhere to be found. The crew, who were putting in long hours for little pay for OJ's big comeback, impatiently waited. "It's pretty weird, you know, because of the murders," commented the sound guy. "But he is pretty funny," he added.Finally, jovial OJ drove up in a golf cart. "I'm playing golf with the worst golfers," he stated to the stressed producer, who passive-aggressively pleaded to let the shooting begin. "I'm going to play a round of golf," OJ responded. "I need to warm up."OJ continued to chat away to two of his lifelong golfing buddies, oblivious that roughly 20 people were waiting for him to start filming. After OJ vetoed the chosen wardrobe of old-time golfing knickers (the cap was too small for his melon-sized head), things got rolling.
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Oh, wait, did I not mention that OJ also made a rap song?We were then in the lobby of a crappy motel off the Vegas Strip. OJ was propped up in the corner wearing an Elvis Presley jumpsuit. OJ was supposed to play a wacky motel clerk. ("Look out! Here comes wacky motel clerk OJ. You see, it's funny because he murdered some people!") But OJ was completely shitfaced. I guess the idea had segued to, if you couldn't get OJ pulling pranks, at least you could OJ near some pranks while they were being pulled.
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