Thanksgiving

If You’re Online Right Now, Log Off

A public service announcement.
November 23, 2017, 2:58pm
Photo: Erik Dreyer/Getty Images

Happy Thanksgiving my American friends, and happy Thursday to the rest of you! I hope you're having a lovely day, especially if you're lucky enough to have time off work, but if my calculations are correct, you are probably feeling very bad right now.

Why? Because chances are you found this article via a social network like Facebook or Twitter. And if you're reading this article, it means you're online. Take it from me, a professional internet writer and a deeply unprofessional Twitter user: Log off whenever you can.

I'll admit it—I am addicted to social media, a thing that brings me tiny glimpses of joy through momentary dopamine spikes and a whole lot of pain. My Twitter feed is a medley of Trump's crazy tweets, inane commentary on said tweets, the latest horrible news, journalists cyberbullying each other, literal Nazis, and incredibly, people who are still relitigating the 2016 Democratic primary. Of course, there's also the occasional good meme that tricks you into thinking social media is worth the pain, but I'm here to tell you: log off.

Hang out with your family. If you're alone, go see a movie. If you're looking for suggestions, check out either Thor: Ragnarok, which was very funny, or Justice League, which is much better than the reviews make it out to be. You could even read a book or write a manifesto or draw a picture. When you think about it, there are so many fun things to do offline. So why are you still here?

Follow Eve Peyser on Twitter, just not today.