DEMI DEMI

A few months ago I found this Dutch-language video about Mr. Wilson van de Moortele, a Flemish 50-year-old who explains how he will conquer the world with his latest invention in fashion. He makes clothes consisting of two halves of differently colored garments stitched together–hence Demi Demi–which means half and half in French. Two half t-shirts make a whole one. Got it?

At first I thought the video was some lame bit of viral marketing and definitely not real. Eventually, curiosity got the better of me and I dialed the number I found on his homepage. The man on the other side of the line was very real–I’ve never heard anyone talk in such a confused yet serious way, so I knew it had to be the Wilson that appears in the video.

We met the following Wednesday. He was on his bike, which had been painted in two colors, and he was drinking a half-pint of beer and dressed entirely in a dual color scheme–half and half pieces of clothing.

Vice: Your neighbors said I’d find you here, they said I should look for a two-colored bike.
Wilson: Yeah, I am for sure I’m the only guy in Belgium with that bike. Other bikes always have just one color. Cars, bicycles, mopeds. You cannot imagine what Demi Demi could become.

Did you come up with this entirely yourself?
Once, I was having a beer down town while wearing two different socks. And everybody was mocking me, saying it wasn’t right. I was upset. What legislation in Belgium says I cannot wear two different socks? No such thing exists, right? Look, if ordinary people have a broken sock, they easily toss them away. I will do no such thing; I’m thrifty and keep the other sock. Half, half. Demi Demi. That’s French.

OK, explain to me exactly what you mean by that.
Let’s say, an ordinary bra is white-white, right? I make them yellow, green or green-blue, but definitely no longer white-white. I have a patent on this. Menswear, handbags, shoes, walking sticks, and umbrellas.

Oh, and how does it work? You just purchase differently coloured fabric and cut and sew them together?
No, you buy two garments in the same size, you cut them in two and sew them back together. Demi Demi. You don’t need to buy new fabrics. With Demi Demi, you can make your own clothes. Thus, life is more colorful. For others, life is mostly in one color. Man, I pity them.

Isn’t that a bit like this American Apparel top I’m wearing?
They must be careful, I have a patent on this invention! Doing such things isn’t legal. I patented it way back. If you don’t protect yourself enough, they take everything away from you. You can hardly survive in fashion without a patent on your things.

You’re obviously doing very well.
I am working day and night. It is not really my main goal, but alas, alas, what comes around, goes around. My main goal is to build the biggest model train track in Belgium. For fashion, you have to buy a patent and this costs you a lot of money. After this, I’ll build my track and live the dream. Anyway, I will sell all the miniature houses around the track. If you’re in fashion, your sex life is zero because you’re just too obsessed. A few weeks ago, I was smoking in the first class compartment on the train. I was so lost in fashion that I had totally forgotten that it wasn’t allowed anymore. They gave me a fine.

Are you married?
For 36 years, I’ve never been with another lady. The secret is to have at least one good chitchat a week, that’s why we are still together. Listen, for seven years, I had a depression. I was trash and wasn’t able to make love with her. But she stayed with me. I congratulated her, complimented her on her new pair of glasses and bought her new teeth.

Does your wife wear Demi Demi?
No, I tell her the whole time that she should, but she says she’s too old for it. Fashion is not for people over 50, it’s for the youth.

Have you always been inspired by fashion.
No, I’m actually a musician. I play the church organ. I’ve also made a record, and for 26 days I was a DJ. My original name was Geef Gazze (which means something like “push the gas pedal”) but one day two boys came to me and saw I’d organized my records in these diapers boxes and they started to call me DJ Pamperzzz (DJ Diaperzz). I always brought nappies along to the parties I was playing. Some people seemed to think putting a diaper on their head was pretty fun by midnight.

Why are you wearing a wig?
Because it’s Demi Demi.

And why not a hat? You could make that Demi Demi as well.
Yes, I make everything Demi Demi. But look, this bonnet is, for instance, not in two colors, but it is an old bonnet and my coat is new. You see: I am Demi Demi. Everything is Demi Demi.

I see…