Does Rejection Therapy Actually Help Social Anxiety?

Rejection therapy is the new exposure therapy, and TikTok is eating it up.

Similar to exposure therapy in that you’re facing your fear head-on, rejection therapy entails actively seeking out rejection—or at least the risk of it. This might look like pushing yourself to ask for someone’s number at the bar or request a stranger buy you lunch.

On TikTok, where this social media game took off, some users were taking the “therapy” to bold extremes. Like, this one girl who asked a random person for $100. 

@michellepanning

❌ DAY 9 OF REJECTION THERAPY ❌ This was one of the challenges I was dreading THE MOST! 😅 I’ve done it a few times before but never for $100 so it felt edgy to put it lightly. Here’s what I learned: The anticipation of the thing is often worse than the thing itself. My pulse was racing. My hands were clammy. And as soon as it was over, I came back to baseline. You sitting in indecision, waiting for the perfect moment and for the stars to align is what is CAUSING your anxiety… not the fear of doing the thing itself. 🙃 The longer you sit in indecision, the more intense your fear becomes until eventually it has you in a chokehold and you feel paralysed. So whatever that thing is that you’re sitting on… go do it. Do it now. What are you ACTUALLY waiting for? 🤔 For you to feel no fear? Feel completely confident? You may be waiting a while. So do the thing scared. But do the thing nonetheless. 🫶🏼 #rejectiontherapy #confidenceiskey #rejection #30daychallenge

♬ original sound – Michelle Panning

Or this girl who recorded herself telling fellow plane passengers to “have a lovely flight.” I’m actually cringing from the comfort of my own home right now.

@sophie_jones111

This took some courage hahah #rejectiontherapy #flights

♬ original sound – Sophie Jones

Rejection therapy isn’t a widely studied form of therapy, but it has been popularized on social media via videos like those above. I mean, it makes sense that the more you expose yourself to your fears, the more desensitized you’ll likely become. 

However, if you’re not approaching it the right way, this practice can also backfire—especially if you have certain mental health conditions or a history of trauma.

Rejection Therapy Could Actually Make Your Problems Worse

According to Dr. Elisabeth Morray, Licensed Psychologist and VP of Clinical Operations at Alma, it’s best to embark on rejection therapy alongside a trained professional.

“The risk of going it alone is that, without the support of someone who understands how to approach exposure therapy in healthy and responsible ways, pushing yourself head-first into the kinds of situations you fear can actually be traumatic in ways that will increase your fears, rather than reducing them,” she said.

For example, if you force yourself to do something that terrifies you only to end up crippled by a full-blown panic attack, you’ll likely walk away feeling much worse. Additionally, if you’re facing a fear that stems from a traumatic event—e.g., pushing yourself to drive a car immediately following a horrific accident—this might end up further reinforcing that fear.

“Rejection therapy may do more harm than good for people who need appropriate support and resources in order to have a therapeutic, rather than traumatic, experience of being vulnerable to the pain of rejection,” said Dr. Morray.