It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

ILLUSTRATION BY MILANO CHOW
PHOTO BY SCHUYLER PISHA
Mad Max Altered States

Here’s a quick guide to the terms you’ll need to know as you wander the postnuclear rubble that was once America. This is all genuine survival-community-speak, so commit it to memory if you plan to play ball.

ALPHA STRATEGY: This is the idea that one should store more than they will need to consume after the shit goes down. You can use your surplus for barter and charity.

ALICE: All-purpose Lightweight Individual Carrying Equipment, aka an expensive backpack.

ASBO: Antisocial behavior. It won’t fly in a place like the Ark Two.

BIVVY: Short for bivouac. You should know how to do this, pronto.

FUD: Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt. Three things that will be very common after the apocalypse.

GOLDEN HORDE: Refers to the Mongol horde of the 13th century. To survivalists, this is the horde of refugees and looters that will pour out of every city in the world.

GRID DOWN: This is when the official power grid is gone.

MZB: Mutant Zombie Biker. Outlaw bikers are a particular threat to survivalists.

POLLYANNA: A person in denial of the fact that society is going to collapse into an anarchic, radioactive shit heap.

PREPPER: A person who is prepared. A survivalist.

TEOTWAWKI (AKA “THE CRUNCH”): Acronym for The End Of The World As We Know It. Pronounced “Tee-ought-walk-ee.”