Florida Man Told Cops He ‘Teleported’ Into Stolen BMW Before High-Speed Crash

Volusia County deputies have seen some s—t, man. It’s the county home to the drunken redneck mecca that is Daytona Beach. But even they didn’t seem prepared for a dazed and bloodied man insisting that he had “teleported” into a flaming BMW convertible.

As reported by Fox 35 Orlando, deputies say the adventure began at Bicentennial Park in Ormond Beach, where a man walking his dog left his BMW unlocked, with the keys tucked in a cup holder. He might as well have hung a little rickety wooden sign with some letters scrawled on it and dripping red paint that said “FREE CAR.”

A witness told investigators he saw a confused-looking man asking strangers for a lighter before slipping into the Beemer. That man, deputies say, was 36-year-old Calvin Curtis Johnson, who allegedly believed the universe had opened a portal exclusively for him in the form of an unoccupied BMW with the keys still inside.

Florida Man Claims He ‘Teleported’ Into Stolen BMW Before 130 MPH Crash

Shortly thereafter, the BMW was spotted tearing down the road at speeds topping 130 mph. Now you’re beginning to see why someone who is clearly not in the right state of mind would assume they were traveling via teleportation. Seconds later, the car crashed at the corner of Old Dixie Highway and Oaks Boulevard.

Body-camera footage shows deputies yanking Johnson from the burning wreckage as he thanks them, not for saving his life, but for saving him “from the aliens.” He doubles down on the teleportation claim while deputies try to get him to focus on more earthly matters, like not wandering into traffic or keeping away from the fiery wreckage.

After firefighters knocked down the flames, Johnson was taken to a hospital. He faces charges of grand theft and driving with a suspended or revoked license. He is expected to be booked into the Volusia County Branch Jail. That is, unless he can figure out how to pull off that whole teleportation trick again.