It’s No Shame That Gorillaz Split Up – They Were An Annoying Example Of Damon Albarn’s Unbearable Personality

I’m not jumping for joy over the news, but I never really got behind the idea that Gorillaz made acceptable music for anyone besides Japanese children or music journalist nerds trying to be cool.

I really like that story behind that song “Dare,” when Shaun Ryder was too fucked up to say the words “It’s there” in the studio – I guess the technology was pretty groundbreaking at the time, but to me they were a musical manifestation of those snobby adult toy shops in Sohos across the world.

Not sexy “adult toys,” more like “toys for adults who still think they’re fucking children” toys. Where Nathan and Toby would sell £250 vinyl figurines of graffiti monsters that were all loosely connected in some way to Nigo.

Maybe with Gorillaz, Damon and Jamie Hewlett wanted to give the wider world a taste of just how cruelly delicious it was to be accepted into those exclusive, posh boy, ex-skater-turned-modern-artist circles that staffed and ran/still run those wretched places.

Cocaine and fashion PR girlfriends, chunky silver rings with cassette tapes on them, limited Vans that cost a zillion pounds and “why are you still playing the Dr. Octagon CD? Oh, it’s ‘cos you live in West London” vibe.

And how about those fucking music magazines that’d be “guest edited by Murdoch.”

As if that didn’t have the entire world cringing with embarrassment?

Thinking about it now my eyes have got all narrow and I’m transported back in time to when I peed my pants at a new school in front of like 25 new class mates.

I dunno, nobody’s really gonna miss it right?