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Dating An Aries Is a Sexy Adventure With Lots of Fighting

This fire sign is always ready to fight—just hope it's you they're fighting for.
Aries being competitive on a rock-climbing date
Illustration by Cathryn Virginia

"Signs of Love" is a column in which astrologer Danny Larkin breaks down what it's like to date each zodiac sign.

Fire sign Aries will draw you in with their righteous intensity. If you’re out at a bar and some numbskull bumps into you, causing you to spill your cocktail without offering so much as an apology, Aries will put that jerk in their place and demand that they buy you a new drink! After defending your honor, people born in the sign of the ram will lay eyes on you and lay down the full force of their flirting. When an Aries is into you, they aren’t subtle about it. In fact, they aren’t subtle about anything—but it’s really quite endearing how they go for broke in trying to get to know you.


If you decide you’re up for the adventure of getting to know this fiery person a little bit better, remember that Aries is the most unabashedly aggressive sign in the zodiac. They enjoy hands-on activities with cutlery that verges on weaponry, like roasting raw meat over a fire at a Korean BBQ joint. If they’re vegetarian, take them to the most self-righteous vegan place in your city. There’s always that one restaurant that gives off an excruciatingly holier-than-thou vibe—and it will be Aries’s favorite!

As you put together your outfit, remember that Aries likes fashion that comes off tough or rough around the edges. Studs work wonders; leather jackets score major points. If the date is more casual, try a T-shirt with an edgy phrase or band; if it’s more formal, think jewelry showcasing a menacing insect, animal, or mythological beast. Play to your Aries audience by showing up owning an in-your-face look.

While on a date with your Aries, be forewarned that they may flirt with you by trying to fight—they’re famous for dishing out harsh one-liners! The key is to keep things light and not get defensive. Spar back in a playful, witty way—nothing delights an Aries more than someone who can quarrel while remaining funny, who doesn’t get bent out of shape over a fleeting moment in a spirited conversation.

When you start discussing work, don’t dwell on talking about being a great team member who gets along with everyone—save that elevator speech for a Libra. Tell an Aries about the disagreements you’re having in the office and the ways you outfox your frenemies and rivals. If you have a nemesis, tell Aries all about them. They’ll get so intrigued that they’ll launch into a passionate brainstorming session about how to take that person down. Even if the date is a dud, you’ll come away with some new ideas about how to come out on top!


Speaking of tops: If things go well, there’s a very good chance that Aries will want to have sex with you on the first date. They’re ruled by Mars, the planet of aggression and intense sex, and it’s hard for a Mars-ruled fire sign to hold back when they like you. And sex with Aries is intense in an amazing, mind-blowing way—lucky you! The best part about sex with an Aries is that their libido doesn’t peter out as the relationship leaves the honeymoon phase. They keep sex interesting to make sure the fire stays burning! Aries is the kind of sign that will leave the party early because they’re tired but get a second wind once you’re home and getting ready for bed. People miss out when they judge an Aries too harshly for being rash and sex-forward, but that’s their loss. With an Aries on your side advocating for you in every situation, the benefits quickly add up. If there are any jerks in your life who infringe on your boundaries, Aries will be the one to help you cut out that bullshit.

But this knight-in-shining-armor complex can be one of the toughest parts of dating an Aries. They’re prone to charging ahead at the wrong problem, or trying to solve that which is unsolvable. Sometimes when you feel awful, the only thing to do is take one night to wallow in your emotions and ride it out—but Aries will try and talk through every possible solution and demand that you take actionable steps right then and there. Aries finds it challenging to address problems without defaulting to Fight Mode, but the clever rams figure out that compassion and kindness can sometimes be the best way to win the fight against a bad day. A smart partner to Aries figures out how to use the language of combat to clarify what fight needs to be fought today, and what is better left for tomorrow.


Many Aries have terrible tempers, and their first response to solving disagreements is to try and overpower the other person. They like to yell, which worsens the conflict and obfuscates the points they’re trying to get across. The secret to calming an Aries down is to wave the white flag. Admit when you screw up, and point out that they do it, too—it’s only human! Communicate that screaming at and shaming you doesn’t help—you need to have a calm conversation about the problem so that you can figure out what’s coming up for you psychologically. Once Aries hears that you’re trying to recognize and fight your own inner-demons and that you aren’t claiming to be perfect (or even right), they’ll calm down and realize that they need to be your ally in this fight. If they don’t respond well to this kind of redirecting, find a better, more mature Aries to date.

If you need to break up with an Aries, brave yourself for a blow-up fight. They’ll rehash everything you’ve ever done wrong and push every button they can to retaliate against you for rejecting them. It’s best to pick a public place so that they don’t explode while other people are around.

If you’ve found an Aries who knows how to cool down, you are in for an adventure that never stops—they’ll be the definition of your ride-or-die partner: They’ll always fight for you when you need someone to have your back. They’ll give you the best sex of your life when you need to let your hair down. And they’ll call you out when you’re veering off course in such a way that you’ll feel grateful for their honesty and desire to help you live your best life. However it works out? There’s never a dull moment with Aries.

What's in the stars for you in November? Read your monthly horoscope here.

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