A Brief Guide to Internet Nostalgia

Future Laboratory The Hampster Dance

Should I Be Nostalgic About It?
No. This would be like getting nostalgic about your own limbs. Assuming you still have all of your limbs. The internet is still built of this stuff, so it is impossible to feel a sense of loss for its passing.

What should I say about it?
“Janice was annoying me on FB Chat so I Yousendited her a 6G .zip of 50000 versions of Hampster Dance.”

What’s the Modern Day Equivalent?
Pop Tart Cat.


AOL

AOL were… Well, actually no one was sure what AOL did. Except that they had a website. And that they were supposed to be worth a trillion dollars or something, and would definitely come to dominate the whole thing forever just as soon as someone could figure out what it was they did.

Should I Be Nostalgic About It?
Yes. AOL symbolised a time when the internet was full of people giving money to meaningless companies for no other reason than that they seemed to have a lot of spare money and nothing much to do with it.

What Should I Say About It?
“On BBM the other day Janice said ‘AOL’, and I thought she meant ‘Aargh-ing Out Loud’, but I looked it up on urbandictionary, and they used to be a company.”

What’s the Modern Day Equivalent?
AOL.


Ask Jeeves

A fake butler would respond to your requests for information about Ugly Kid Joe lyrics by trying to direct you towards sites about recipes. Symbolised an era when computing was assumed to be “scary” so you had to have digital serfs and anthropomorphic paper clips to act as spirit guides.

Should I Be Nostalgic About It?
Yes. Weep like a baby – Google knows you too well now, and so you will never again have the opportunity to arbitrarily discover how Sally-Marie from Tucson gets her egg whites so fluffy.

What Should I Say About It?
“Me and Jeeves used to be tight, yo. The first time I ever saw a girl wank off an ox it was thanks to that guy.”

What’s the Modern Equivalent?
The Encyclopedia Britannica, written in pink lettering on a blue background, opened at a random page.


Chat Rooms

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