Dear Vice,
I met this guy called Paul about 6 months ago ’round my Dad’s house. I couldn’t help but notice that he had one finger missing. I innocently asked him how it had happened, thinking some heavy machinery chopped it off or a dog chewed it. What followed was the story of how his life fell apart…
 

xPaul started by saying he was a trained killer. He said that he used to be in the British Army’s elite parachute regiment and had been taught to shoot a target the size of playing card from a distance spanning three football pitches (360 metres)…

Paul went on to tell me a story about when he was on a mission in Cambodia or Colombia (I can’t remember which). The government wanted a small team of men to go in and take out this drug factory in the middle of the jungle.

As they approached, through the telescopic sights on their guns they could make out 20 or so armed figures protecting the factory. The team were ordered to open fire. The guards tried to return fire but, because Paul and his team were so far away, they had no chance. All the guards were picked off within 10 minutes.

When the team felt it was safe to move in, they walked to the factory. As they got closer they began to notice that all the dead bodies were no older the 15. They had just kill 20 teenagers. Paul told me that the thought of killing those kids still haunts him today.

I asked him if that was where he lost his finger. Nope. That was another story.

Paul was deployed in Northern Ireland at the height of The Troubles. He was stationed at a base housing observation towers that overlooked the border with the Irish Republic. One night he was on duty and heard a huge explosion. A lorry packed with half-a-ton of explosives had blown up, destroying a passing army convoy and part of the base.

On hearing the explosion Paul rushed down from his observation tower in order to assess the damage. Bodies were strewn everywhere. Twenty minutes later a second bomb went off. Soldiers who ran to help at the scene of first explosion were caught up in the explosion. Paul was hit. As he raised his hands to shield his face, shrapnel tore through his finger and into his face. He also suffered concussion and other injuries. After spending the next 6 months in hospital, he was given £50,000 in compensation and told to get on with his life.

On being released from the army, Paul went off the rails. He couldn’t forget what he had done and experienced. He said that most of the men involved were badly affected by horrifying post-traumatic stress. Many committed suicide. Many got heavily into hard drugs.

Paul squandered all his money. He is still out of work. He says that nobody wants to hire someone whose only job qualification is killing people.