RETTSOUNDS FROM THE ICE COAST

Like I stated last week, this weather we’ve been getting here on the East Coast lately has been really kicking my ass. When I was a younger man, I would relish the times when the snow would pile up and give me more of an excuse to do more of the nothing I was already doing. I’d smoke whatever I could, eat funny pieces of paper, and listen to record after record while staring for hours on end at the long grass sway in the gatefold cover that accompanied the Spacious Mind double LP Sleepy Eyes & Butterflies. Yes, that’s the way it was in those crazy times we called “The Mid 90’s.”

These days, I get antsy after being inside for more than a few hours. I need to take a walk, go get a sandwich: do anything but be alone with my thoughts and too many records. What caused this shift in attitude is unknown to me. Maybe somewhere down the line I got sick of stewing in my own juices and taking drugs for the same reason I got sick of fudgesicles, people telling me what to do, or crapping in my pants; I simply grew up. Who knows. This isn’t really the forum to delve into such matters. I’ll save such ponderings for the journal I keep under the floorboards that I adorn with colorful stickers and call my ‘Stolen Ideas and Thought Farts’ book. For now, let’s just talk about records that made me not want to leave the house to sludge through thunder ice and get a roast beef sub.

If there’s one record that would have sounded great in the times talked about above, it’s this Heart Land LP just done up as a split venture between the Cream of Turner and Tequila Sunrise labels. A real slow-mo builder chock full of distant buzzes, up-front clanking and generally druggy vibes that got me warm and wistful for the first mind blowing times I first heard things like Letters from the Earth by No Neck Blues Band, Psychedelic Underground by Amon Duul, Mind of a Brother by Sunburned Hand of the Man and many other OG tribal electronic records. And would ya check out that packaging? Such a gorgeous site I won’t even place it on my toilet, and that’s saying something. Score a copy here.
[audio:http://vicerecords.com/download/heart land.mp3]

I will admit to sleeping on Columbus‘ Unholy Two for awhile just for the simple reason that I cataloged them away in my brain with all those limp dick bands like Drunkdriver who have song titles like “I Raped Your Grandmas’ Older Pregnant Sister” and purposely record their records poorly. Agnostic Front didn’t need to release a limited edition 7″ with a grainy S&M picture on the cover to get the point across that they were desperate, fucked-up people, so why do these raisin sacks always feel the need? And yeah, the Unholy Two might buddy around with some of these bands and trade rape jokes, but the shit that comes out of my speakers when I blast their Skum of the Earth 12″ sounds like hate rock made by a group of dudes who not only truly hate, but are free of body ink or scrotum piercings. The presence of the Shannon Brothers (of Cheaters Slicks fame) obviously doesn’t take away from the legitimacy of the proceedings and from where I sit on the couch, I can raise my fist and feel like I can get behind their cause. If I ever go see them live and they start in with some showman-like nihilism, that’s when I get on the red phone to call Billy Psycho out of retirement.
[audio:http://vicerecords.com/download/Unholy Two – Opposition Party.mp3]

Believe it or not, I can have fun sometimes. Like when I saw Milwaukee’s Ramma Lamma on New Years Eve in that party burg we all know as Kalamazoo, Michigan. I mean, c’mon! The non-concept of a unisexual trio stompin’ like a Noddy Holder/Suzi Quatro transgender hybrid from a Saturday morning cartoon isn’t something that’s totally lost on me, no matter how long I sit around here stroking my chin to Henry Cow. And it’s not like it’s just a live thing. Both singles recently plopped by these kids have the potential to raise the stodgy types to their feet for some cheap bear guzzling. Then they’ll dance with twelve year olds and get busy with the nearest warm thing they can find. Get an earful for yourself and lemme know if you disagree. You can get both platters right here.
[audio:http://vicerecords.com/download/Ramma Lamma Tiger Don t Change It s Stripes.mp3]

Some of you who actually pay attention to the crap I write about might remember me mentioning Uranium Orchard last time around, a new project from the guys in everyone’s favorite Christian Hardcore band, Dry Rot. Well, Jordan Darby from the band has yet another weirdo side project named Heavy Air and they just released a four song flexi-disc. Just like with all the other stuff these guys produce, I’m sorta at a loss for words to describe it. In recent e-mail exchanges, Jordan told me he’s been devouring the oddball side of Christian Pysch Rock from the late sixties and early seventies, like Fraction, The Exkursions, and Kristyl. I can hear some of that good hearted thuggery in these floppy grooves as well as some sorta weird theatrical vocal vibes that bring to mind the first few Sisters of Mercy 12″s’. May these freaks ride their chariot deep and long and forever and ever into your pulsing skull. Amen.
[audio:http://vicerecords.com/download/Levitate The Pentagon.mp3]

And speaking of true blue weirdoes, they really didn’t come much weirder than the late, great Charlie Nothing. I got my first earful of Charlie in an uptown poker shed over ten years ago via a beardo who owned his first LP, The Psychedelic Saxophone of Charlie Nothing, put out back in 1967. The first thing I remember was marveling at the art that adorned the beat-to-shit cover. The second thing I remember was sitting on a milk crate for a whole album side staring at the stereo while my brain shot off into a million directions wondering who this Nothing guy was and how he was laying down that easy, breezy freedom sound all by himself. Finding a copy of the album proved to be fruitless, and the thought of getting to hear a copy of his much mysticized second LP Outside Inside seemed as likely as getting Jai Alai on the moon. But, hey, it’s a brand new day and the DeStijl label just reissued that second record for all the curious to hear. For those who keep their Skitsystem collection close to their crotch/crutch, I’m guessing the whole white linen lined bongo freak-out-in-the-park vibe on this disc might be too much. But ,for those of us who’ve smoked a bowl or twelve and pondered what our existence would have been like had our parents dropped a lot of acid and all of a sudden decided they wanted to start a traveling family band, it’ll sound like your foggy notions put to wax. Kudos as usual to Clint over at DeStijl for getting the impossible to hear from the stubby-fingered hoarders and into the people’s ears.

Anyone whose ever spent time in the Hampshire county of Massachusetts has got to know Conrad Capistran. There are many places you could have seen him. Maybe you saw him in the synth duo Tarp (who will perform only under a tarp, hence the title), or you might have seen him play with Sunburned Hand of the Man or the Believers. Maybe you talked records with him in the various vinyl stores he’s worked at over the years. I know him through all the avenues listed above, and I find him to be a helluva guy. The Sound of Pot is his solo guise and an LP chock full of his fun sized electronic vignettes just came out on the Manhand label entitled Only Jesus Can Make Me. It’s been a favorite around here when it gets dark and cold, which means we’ve been playing it a lot. It’s a great record to just let play and aurally gaze in the o-mind zone. Sometimes I catch myself wondering if this is what the soundtrack of Beverly Hills Cop would’ve sounded like if Goblin did it. Like all things good and weird and hard to come by, this can be scored from the always estimable Fusetron empire.
[audio:http://vicerecords.com/download/The sound of pot – berserk.mp3]

Alright, that’s it: time for a roast beef sub.

‘Til then – TR