Stop Wiping Immediately, Says Anal Surgeon

Let’s add another thing to the ever-growing list of basic life activities that science says you’re doing so incorrectly that you wonder if you can do anything right—wiping your ass. According to Dr. Evan Goldstein, a renowned anal surgeon, the butt-wiping technique most of us were taught as children might be doing a lot more harm than good. And maybe we should pump the brakes on wet wipes while we’re at it.

Speaking to the “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Dr. Goldstein explained that wiping with toilet paper can irritate the delicate skin around your anus, leading to tears and inflammation. Do this enough over a long period and all that friction can cause permanent damage to your butthole skin.

You’d think the solution would be the use more wet wipes, but the doctor stresses that you absolutely should not be using wet wipes at all. Not only are they bad for the environment and terrible for our plumbing systems but wet wipes can also mess with the delicate balance of natural bacteria surrounding your anus.

The scientific community has learned a lot about the idea of beneficial bacteria in our bodies in recent years, especially in our guts as fermented foods and probiotic supplements can get our gut biomes in the place they need to be to improve our mental acuity and physical prowess.

All the extra moisture and chemicals you’re introducing to your butt via wet wipes can throw off your balance of bacteria. Pair all that foreign bacteria with all that extra moisture and you have a recipe for an unhealthy anus that’s riddled with dermatitis and has the perfect environment for a bacterial infection.

So, how should you be cleaning your asshole? Doctor Goldstein says bidets are the way to go. Bidets allow you to thoroughly clean your butt without irritating it with scratchy toilet paper and without the chemicals of wet wipes. But more than anything, it’s important to make sure your butthole is as dry as possible when it’s all said and done.

If you must bring toilet paper into this, don’t wipe up and down, instead, use the blotting method, using the same hand motions you would try to get a stain out of a fabric couch. You want to gently blot your butthole until it’s clean of fecal debris or lingering water from the bidet.

For some bonus points, wipe while standing in a semi-squat to reduce blood flow to your anus which helps minimize pressure and irritation. Don’t wipe excessively and don’t apply any more effort than is needed to get the job done at a bare minimum.

If you need to put in extra effort, the issue isn’t with your cleaning method of choice but rather with your diet and gut health. Some probiotics and maybe a little more yogurt and kimchi in your diet might make cleanup a whole lot easier.