OK, I know we didn’t set a deadline on the Superjail fanart contest. It’s possible there’s an avalanche of incredible, Superjail-themed drawings and paintings and etchings and sculptings just waiting to crash down on our heads. But still, seriously people? TWO submissions to win a DVD of the most jam-packed and frenetically-paced animation to appear on TV since the Ren & Stimpy intro?

I don’t know, maybe you’re all set for cash right now and $15 is no skin off your back. Maybe you want to put some money in Christy Karacas’s miscellany fund. Maybe you hate drawings and wish that an AIDS-level inkborn plague would sweep through the cartoonist and illustrator communities.

All I can say for certain is that we’ve gotten a grand total of two emailed entries and we are less than blown-away by the attached files. Here’s what what’s been sent to us.

Dear Vice,

Minus the terrible lighting, shadows and series of oh-so-attractive drunk

faces, I present my tried and tested Superjail wearable fan art for

consideration.

Thanks!

LAURA D.

That’s a cute costume, Laura. Sucks this isn’t a cute costume contest. NEXT!

Hey Vice,

I’m Eric Nelson. Here’s my submission to the Superjail Fan Art Contest. It’s

a fake fan-zine dedicated to the show. I’m no visual artist, as you can

tell, but I’ve been making zines for a while now and really love the style

of the show. I wanted to make a one issue zine that felt like the beginning

of a series on something really esoteric that a lot of people wouldn’t

really care for, as well as something [email keeps going like this]

NO!

We had something clever we were going to say about what’s the difference between a fake “fanart” fanzine and an actual fanzine, but we forgot what it was in the blinding fury that washed over us when we saw the last page was a flyer for your book party. I just took a walk around the building and my blood pressure is still spiking. Not even getting into the part where you sent us scans of each of the pages and didn’t even bother cropping out the rest of the scanner bed. Ugh.

So there you have it, the current highlights of the 2010 Superjail fanart contest. Remember, if you don’t get us something better soon, these guys win. Or nobody wins. I don’t care. Whatever.

Send non-shitty submissions to vice@viceland.com before the end of March or I open up my wrists in the bathroom. Whichever comes first.