God forbid we're allowed to enjoy two bites of sugary goodness without getting a taste of late capitalism.
I mean, why wouldn't you want to make these cookies?
A plate of cookies meant to end the feud between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry is proof the war isn't over.
Kanghua Ren, who goes by ReSet, found his victim begging outside a Lidl supermarket in Barcelona.
And everyone thinks the Indian Railway Catering and Tourism Corporation (IRCTC) simple response was savage AF.
At a recent conference, 25-year-old Verena Bahlsen also said, "I want to make money and buy sailing yachts from my dividend and stuff."
The Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Company's rent has gone from $1,400 to $6,000 in the past three years.
Would still recommend eating them in bed, but you get the idea.
We know about "leaving a treat for Santa" and yadda yadda, but you're the one who needs a pick-me-up this year.