Meet Hood Renovationz.
Cooking a proper meal every day is long and tedious, especially when you are consumed by The Fear.
It's kind of like living off airplane meals, but worse, because you can't get off the plane.
For $300 a pop, 1,000 lucky winners will get free pasta for the entire year—52 weeks of unlimited carbohydrate bliss.
Sure, this is all a big joke, but wouldn't you rather support someone's hearty, satisfying meal than a rich person's generic indie rom-com? Of course you would.