The “let's chuck something on a plate so we can stay open” initiative of England's bars and pubs has resulted in some deeply cursed meals.
What started as a laugh at British media nepotism quickly became a furious pile-on that revealed a predictability at the heart of social media.
The pubs are open again, but not as we once knew them. Luckily, our friends at Old Blue Last Beer have written a guide to help you navigate this strange new boozing landscape.
While each venue was enforcing government guidelines, other pub workers have warned of flaws in the advice.
Unsurprisingly, people did not observe the "no shouting" rule.
Britain's pubs are scheduled to open in early July, but don't expect a boozy return to an earlier, simpler time.
"I already have friends who are sending me messages saying, 'Do you want to get a pint?'"
All I ask is for just one pub garden, where I can ash into a discarded can of beer. That, and your pity.
Thanks to coronavirus, the fate of your local boozer looks grim.
There's one thing you can guarantee when the pubs reopen – there will be groups of lads milling around and blocking your way to the bar.
Nothing like unpacking the extremely cursed results of a general election to unwind!