We Are All This Raccoon Who Ate So Much He Got Stuck in a Sewer

It looks like humans aren't the only species who are currently burying their feelings about the sorry state of the world under mass amounts of food. On Thursday, police in the Chicago suburb of Zion had to rescue a raccoon after the critter ate so much that he wound up getting stuck inside a sewer grate, NBC Chicago reports.

The little plumper was apparently hanging inside the sewer like a whiskered Pennywise, feasting on some discarded sewer foods. But when he tried to climb out, the sewer grate's mouth wasn't quite big enough for his newly filled belly.

Police found the raccoon stuck halfway out of the grate's opening, flailing to get free with bits of bread scattered around him. With the help of Zion Public Works and Animal Control, they managed to break the big guy loose.

In a video of the raccoon rescue, one worker secured the spooked animal as another pulled up the sewer grate. "Fatty!" one of them laughs.

"They were able to free him and our friend was no worse for wear," the police department wrote in a Facebook post. The raccoon scurried back down into the sewer and disappeared, likely off in search of another delicious subterranean snack.

Good luck out there, buddy. Hope your future is full of more tasty sewer morsels and pipes wide enough for your rotund form to fit through. If you need us, we'll be spending the rest of the year in various stages of food coma.