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Elektra Kotsoni, bezitster van een voornaam die net zo sexy is als haar achternaam weerzinwekkend, is Grieks, woont in Londen en werkt voor VICE UK. Om haar landgenoten een financieel hart onder de riem te steken, vloog ze naar Athene om geld af te troggelen van toeristen die daar enkel en alleen naar de rellen komen gluren.

As a Greek living in London, I can tell you that watching your country riot itself into the ground from afar is not a pleasant experience. If you’re not having nightmares about your mum drowning in baton rounds and noxious plumes of tear gas, you’re feeling guilty for not getting in there and taking a few blows yourself. I’m not saying the anti-austerity protesters in Syntagma Square have it easier than me. But at least they’re close enough to the problem to be able to shout and throw rocks at it.

Recently, though, my dad told me something that made me feel like less of a deserter. He said that foreigners had started to come to Athens purely to gawk at the rioting Indignados and the parts of the city they’d seen burning on TV. Some of the foreigners had even been caught up in the clashes. Finally I had something to feel self-righteously, indignantly Greek about – maybe I could milk some Euros from these idiots to help turn my homeland’s beleaguered economy around?

My quest began outside Monastiraki, a flea market that is usually crawling with tourists. Unfortunately, there were no angry, gas-masked mobs pouring through the streets of Athens, but I thought I’d gather up as many people as I could here and then lead them on a tour of the city’s recent riot hotspots. I don’t think this is going to save my country, after all.

(from l-r): Cathy, Kate and Dan, from Philadelphia.

VICE: Hey guys, how come you’re in Athens?
Dan: People To People.

What does that mean?
Dan: It’s a youth organisation. Haven’t you heard of it?

Nope, sorry. Do you want to go on a riot tour?
Dan: No thank you. Anything we had planned in the vicinity of the protests our reps have already cancelled.

Ah, come on!
Kate: Yeah, come on Dan.
Dan: Therepshavealreadycancelled!

Come on Dan. Promise I won’t bite. It’ll be fun!
Cathy: Our parents are worried about us.
Dan: My parents are worried about me.

Are your parents worried about you, Cathy?
Cathy: Yes.

I think they should let you do what you like at your age.

A group of girls, from France.

VICE: Hey lay-deez, wazzzaaaaaaaap? Would you like me to show you where all the fighting and the riots have been happening? It’s really cool.
Girl #1: Which riots?

You know, the riots. Greece hasn’t got any money, so people are getting angry and fighting police outside the Houses of Parliament?
Girls: …

You haven’t heard anything about that?
Girl #2: Non, je ne sais pas.

How old are you?
Girl #1: 16.

VICE: Hello! Would you like to walk around Syntagma Square with me? I’ll show you who all the most violent protesters are and we can go looking for the riot dog.
Peter: Thanks for the offer but we just walked down from there.

Oh, okay. How was it?
Peter: It was alright. Quite calm really. There aren’t too many people there now. The dog’s not around either. That was a little disappointing.

So you’re here to look at the riots? Some French people I just spoke to didn’t even know they’d been going on.
Peter: I think the world has the wrong idea about the French.

What do you think of the protesters?
Peter: We feel for them. People think Germans don’t like Greeks, and that we don’t want to give them any money, but that’s not right.

I’m Greek. Do you want to give me any money? I’ll see that it gets spent on food and petrol bombs for the troops.
Karol: You have a funny sign.

Will you give me any money? The French didn’t give me any money.
Karol: You Greeks have such a crazy sense of humour!

Carlota, from Spain.

VICE: Hi! Would you like a tour of the protest square?
Carlota: It’s right behind us. Why would I want a tour of the stupid square? I’ve lived in Athens for three years. Why is that guy pointing a camera at me?

He’s my boyfriend, don’t worry.
Oh… He’s cute. Does he like your hat?

Why would you say that?