Normally advertisers pay shows to have their brands shown in a glowing light: a dog eats Pedigree Chum which then gives him the strength to save his family; a guy buys a bottle of Smirnoff and his dick explodes with women; a mum buys a new BMW which gives her the confidence to take those creative writing classes she always dreamed of; Lady Gaga uses a telephone, she gets to make out with Beyonce. But of course, it works the other way as well. Brands often find themselves referenced in films in ways which stray from the image of radically wholesome progressive defenders of individual freedom and family unity which they pay to display. Here are some examples. 

COCA-COLA

Where?
Affleck-starring Michael Bay directed patriot-fest Pearl Harbour (ok, Harbor)

The details:
Coke bottles are used as receptacles for blood in a hospital scene. The blood is taken directly from patients and then sits there, a deep shade of corporate-Coke red. Later in the film, Pepsi is shown in a traditional, people enjoying a drink context.

Viewer reaction:
Next time you feel thirsty you either reach for a Pepsi or cut your comrades veins open and get sucking like a Japanese vampire.

MERLOT

Where?
In Sideways, the film that inspired a million stupid discussions in the wine section of the off-license.

The details:
Paul Giamatti’s, character (the one who looks like a balding tumour), a big wine buff, lets it be known that, when it comes to grape varieties, Merlot is definitely not what you want:

The one who looks like a distant drunken memory of Kurt Russell: If they want to drink Merlot, we’re drinking Merlot.
Tumour dude: No, if anyone orders Merlot, I’m leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!

Sideways was a big bourgeois hit and, as a result, sales of Merlot dropped noticeably. As Mark Oldman, writer of Oldman’s Guide to Outsmarting Wine (fuck you wine, you idiot! I foxed you good), said: “Merlot is definitely in the doghouse when it comes to desired varietals — a victim of the ‘Sideways‘ effect”.

Viewer reaction:
God, why did I ever want to drink Merlot when Pinot Noir is so much classier? I hate myself so damn much.

AMERICAN AIRLINES

Where?
Up in the Air, starring George Clooney, the Rolls Royce of actors (Kevin Spacey is the American Airlines of actors).

The details:
Much of the film takes place in airports and American Airlines is the sky-bird of choice. The problem is that Clooney’s character’s obsession with travel and brands is meant to highlight the shallow nature of his existence, so the airline ends up being associated with the corporate-backed decay of American society.

Viewer reaction:
Hey, it’s still Clooney baby! That guy’s cool whoever he’s meant to be pretending to be, so book me an AA flight right now. And hurry up with my Nespresso.

MERCEDES

Where?
Feel good Oscar-winning child-poverty smash Slumdog Millionaire.

The details:
Mercedes were a regular backer of the film but were unwilling to let their cars be seen in any slums lest their luxury name be sullied by association (did they not even get as far as the title when they read the script?). This meant that the film had to spend thousands of pounds removing Mercedes logos in post-production. The car giant was still happy to have gangsters driving their cars though. God gangsters are cool.

Viewer reaction:
Thank god these dirty streets aren’t affecting my car buying decision making.

CELADOR

Where?
Feel good Oscar-winning torture and prostitution smash, Slumdog Millionaire.

The details:
Production company Celador, which makes Who Wants to be a Millionaire, allowed the scenes where the protagonist is tortured and accused of cheating on the show so long as they were carried out by the host and not a member of the production staff. Still though, they torture a teenage boy with a heart of gold.

Viewer reaction:
Who Wants to be a Millionaire is clearly made by psychos.

URUGUAYAN AIR FORCE

Where?
Alive: the 1993 film based on Piers Paul Read’s book about the survivors of the Uruguayan Air Force 571 flight, which crashed in the Andes in 1972.

The details:
The survivors of the crash end up eating each other to survive. The plane’s logo is clearly shown in the opening scenes.

Viewer reaction:
You can’t help feeling that, the less you have to do with the Uruguayan air force and their planes, the less you’ll have to do with eating members of your own family and rugby team.