Eat the bitch

According to her will, this PETA woman wants to be cooked up and served as barbecue, made into a leather purse, nailed up in front of some Indian leather fair every year, have her legs made into umbrella stands for sale in India, have her eyeball somehow taxidermized and sent to the EPA, have her index finger sent to the management of Barnum and Baileys, have her liver sent to France and displayed in public, have one ear sent to the Canadian Parliament and the other mounted outside an abattoir in Mumbai, have her thumb mounted and sent to somebody who has hurt animals in the year of her death, and have a portion of her heart buried next to the Hockenheim, Germany horse-racing track – all to protest human treatment of animals.

So in order to satisfy your last wishes, your next of kin has to make a career out of hustling the different parts of your body across the globe and convince what, like five different tradesmen to chop you apart and make specialized mounts, and then deal with the property owners of a bunch of companies you’ve spent your life ragging on ? Real nice. Did you ever think about leaving them a few contacts to get started, or I don’t know, look into the legality of any of this? You’ve basically consigned your former colleagues to spend a fortune hunting down the world’s shadiest butchers and taxidermists while your corpse lies a mouldering in their office (probably). I mean, come on, the travel bills alone would be in the tens of thousands.